“Paul,” Vince said, eyes wide. “We can’t have bastard children.”
“I blame you for this,” Paul told his father.
“How did you and Darren meet?” Matty asked Octavius. “You seem to be very… close.”
And they did. Very, very close. Because Octavius was trying to climb into Darren’s lap. Darren, for his part, looked supremely irritated and kept trying to shove Octavius back to his own seat. I had to give the twink credit. He certainly was tenacious.
“Yes, Octavius,” I said sweetly. “How did you and Darren meet?”
Darren glared at me.
I winked at him.
Brian tried to pull his hand away.
I held it tighter.
“It was meant to be,” Octavius said, affecting an accent that was either a really terrible French or a really good Danish. I couldn’t tell which. “I looked across the club and our eyes met and then the music swelled and I felt this pull toward him, you know? I didn’t believe in magic until last night. But now I do because he has magic hands.”
“Oh dear god,” I choked out. “That’s so special. You’re very lucky.”
“It wasn’t like that,” Darren grumbled.
“Of course it was.” Octavius rubbed his nose against Darren’s cheek. “I told you my name and you told me you didn’t care, but I could see that you did. Deep inside. There was just this connection, you know?”
“You’re so lucky,” I told Darren. “To have found that connection. Tell me, Darren. How connected did you feel? Mine was carnal, but yours seems to be deeply spiritual.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “How about you and Brian? Please, enlighten us as to how the two of you met. I’m curious how Brian found himself here this morning with us. Eating brunch.”
That bastard. I turned to look at Brian and tried to fix what I assumed would be a loving gaze on him and said, “Well, it’s certainly not as magical as the two of you, but—”
“I hadn’t had sex with a drag queen,” Brian said. “So we had shots and then Helena blew me in the men’s bathroom and then we—ow. Sandy, you’re squeezing my hand really hard—”
“And so I am,” I said, slamming back another mimosa. “Oops.”
“Wow,” Darren said. “I see that you’re keeping it classy as always.”
“Like you would know anything about class,” I snapped at him. “How many warnings have you gotten against fucking someone at Jack It?”
He arched an eyebrow. It wasn’t devastating in the slightest. “Seven.”
“This is just like my telenovela Reina de Corazones,” Nana said excitedly. “There are beautiful people, intrigue, and someone with a mustache is about to get slapped. Except… no one… here has… a mustache. Huh. That’s what disappointment tastes like. Palpable.”
“Is that the one with the hot guy from that one thing that had all the people doing the stuff and things?” Corey asked.
“Exactly,” Nana said. “You’re so good at remembering hot guys. It’s like you have a superpower.”
“It’s my gift,” Corey said. “But it’s also my curse. With great power comes great hot guys.”
“Your life is hard.”
“It really is.”
“Speaking of hot guys,” Nana said, “you’re going to have to start watching Tierra de Reyes with me as well. It has hot Mexican cowboy brothers whose smolder makes me muy caliente in my pantalones.”
“I like hot Mexican cowboy brothers,” Corey said. “And hot pants. Or whatever you just said.”
“I know, dear,” Nana said. “We all do. It’s the horses. And the chaps. And the mustaches.”