Ty launches himself off the counter, and Otter catches him deftly and pulls him up into his arms. I can see Ty whisper something in his ear, and Otter’s eyes go wide, and he glances down at me and then focuses back on the Kid. Ty punctuates his whispers with a poke in Otter’s chest and Otter nods. The Kid sits back in his arms and says, “You promise to do what I say? You have to promise.”
“I promise,” Otter says.
Ty stares at him until he is sure Otter is telling the truth, then wiggles out of his arms. “Bear, can I go watch Anderson Cooper now?” he says, pulling on my leg.
“Sure, Kid,” I tell him, my voice coming out perfectly natural. Coming out as if we’d all just been talking about the weather. Ty runs out of the living room, yelling at us to tell him when the food’s ready. Otter looks at me thoughtfully and goes to the fridge and pulls out a couple of beers, handing one to me. I crack it open and drain half of it in one swig. It burns down my throat and settles warmly into my stomach.
Otter looks like he’s about to say something, but thinks better of it and starts pulling out the ingredients to make Ty’s dinner. I watch him as he works for a few minutes, the silence noticeable but not uncomfortable. The sound of the TV enters into the kitchen, so I know that anything I say now will go unheard by the Kid in the living room. I jump down off the counter and play with the top of the beer bottle.
He wants us to go with him? I think. And do what? Goddammit, Otter, I told you to take things slow, for fuck’s sake! That’s not even going to be possible. How the hell could you even think of saying that without even mentioning it to me first! Not that you should have said anything at all….
“Bear, you’re thinking too much again,” Otter says, reading through a recipe in the open book in front of him. “I can feel it from here.” This startles me from my thoughts, and I open my mouth and start sputtering nonsense, and he looks at me and shakes his head, asking for me to get the noodles out of the pantry. I do, still bubbling nonsensicals that are supposed to be forming coherent denials, but I think all I’m doing is making a lot of noise with my mouth. I hand him the noodles, and the box is shaking, and he wraps his hand around it and my hand. “Bear, stop it.”
I do.
He takes some more stuff from the fridge and starts setting it on the counter. I finish my liquid courage and grab another one over his shoulder. I know I shouldn’t be drinking, but I don’t give a shit.
“So how’s Anna?” Otter asks casually, and I spill a little beer on myself. He tosse
s me a rag, and I mop it up.
“She’s okay, I guess,” I mumble.
“That’s good. She sounded better when I got done talking to her last night.”
I nod. “She said you helped her a lot. She said you….” I hesitate but decide to go for broke. “She said you told her about why you came back here.”
He stiffens only for a second, but I still catch it. “Did she say anything about it to you?”
“No,” I say truthfully. “She said when you’re ready, you’ll tell me.”
“She’s a good kid,” he says. “I’m sorry you guys had a fight.”
I snort. “Oh come on, Otter. You don’t need to coddle me like that. It wasn’t just a fight, and you know it. We broke up; it’s done. And this time it’s for good.”
He laughs quietly. “You’re right, I should know better than that. I just… I don’t know. I hope you guys are going to be okay.”
“Maybe,” I say. “Honestly? I think that she’s better off now, anyways. She deserves a lot more than I could ever give her. I wasn’t exactly the greatest boyfriend in the world.”
He winces. “I wish you wouldn’t do that.”
“Do what?” I ask, taking another sip of beer.
“Be so self-deprecating. That’s a habit you’ve gotten into that needs to be broken right now.”
“Yes, sir,” I scoff at him.
He turns and crosses his arms across his chest and looks at me sternly. “I mean it, Bear. There are enough people out there that will be more than willing to knock you down. There’s no reason for you to do it to yourself.”
I wave my hands in surrender. “You win. I’m sorry. From now on, I’ll be so high on myself you’ll regret ever saying anything.” I jump up onto a chair and beat my chest proudly. “I am fucking awesome,” I say in my deepest voice possible. “I am the epitome of hard-fucking-core.”
Otter rolls his eyes at me and waves his hand over the food. “You done yet? I was thinking you could help me make this seeing as I’ve never made anything vegetarian in my life.”
I jump down from the chair and push him out of the way and look down to read the recipe. I am acutely aware that he is watching me now, and I wonder what he’s thinking about. I wonder what makes him want us to come with him. I blush as I realize how stupid I sound.
Otter comes to stand next to me and leans over the recipe book. “So, Ty came in screaming loudly that we were having a sleepover.”
I blush harder. “Uh… yeah. He kind of insisted on it.” I start to babble: “I should have asked. I mean, it’s your house, right? You probably have plans and don’t need us hanging out over here all the time. Maybe we should just do this some other time. I’ll go get Ty, and we can go—”