Otter comes back, setting the ice cream on the conveyer belt. I don’t think he looks sad. He looks like Otter. Anna doesn’t know what she’s talking about. What would he have to be sad about? He has a killer job, gets paid lots of money. I am sure he’s got a cool house or apartment or something. He doesn’t have to worry about someone depending on him to survive. He’s not stuck in Seafare. Boo hoo.
Okay, I’m sounding bitter. And I’m staring. And he catches me. Otter grins crookedly. “Did you want something too, Bear?” he asks.
Yes! I shout in my head. I want you to go back to California! I want you to stop talking! I want to know why I came with you! I want to know why you let me come with you! Why, Otter? Why did you run away! Right when I needed—
“No,” I say out loud. “I don’t need anything.”
He shrugs and says to Anna, “So you coming over to hang out? I know Creed would want to see you.”
Anna shakes her head. “I have to work late tonight and then study. I still have two finals left before I’m out for the summer.”
“How’s school going for you?” he asks.
“I’ll be glad when it’s done,” she says, taking his money and handing him the change. “Then you can help me to convince Bear to start taking a few classes in the fall. You’re going to be around for a while, right? How long are you here for?”
He hesitates. “I don’t know. Probably for a little while. There are some things I need to work out,” he repeats, looking down at his hands.
“Well, good,” Anna says with a smile. “Then you can really help me make Bear go to school. Don’t you think he could swing it? He’s got a few of us here that would be more than willing to help with Ty.” She’s starting to piss me off.
“Yeah, sure,” he says. “So, I guess I’ll see you later, then.”
“Bye, Otter.”
He walks by me, arching his eyebrow. “I’ll go wait in the car. Just don’t be too long. I don’t want to face the Kid’s wrath if we get back, and his ice cream is all melted.”
“His soy ice cream,” I say back. He doesn’t stop and walks out the door, back into the rain.
Anna comes round the register and grabs onto my arm. “You see what I’m talking about?” she asks. “Something’s wrong.”
I shake off her hand. “Nothing’s wrong, Anna. Just leave it alone. Otter’s Otter. He’s alright.” I turn to look at her levelly. “And would you just drop it with the whole school thing? You know I can’t do anything about that right now.”
She looks at me knowingly, seeing right through me, and I divert my eyes. I can feel her flip her hair in anger, and I don’t want to fight with her now. I’ve got too many things on my mind to worry about one of us being mad at the other. I look back and kiss her lightly on the lips. “I gotta go. Otter’s waiting for me.”
She swats me on the ass as I turn to go. “Give me a call later if you’re going to get drunk and need a ride.” Her voice is neutral.
I laugh, knowing that she knows I’m not going to get drunk. I haven’t been drunk in a while. A very long while. Stupid shit happens when I drink.
Whoosh, the doors go as they open and whoosh they go again, closing behind me.
IT’S raining harder now. I don’t say anything when I get back into the car, and I hope that Otter doesn’t want to talk, either. Most people don’t realize that it’s nice to not talk every now and then. Talking makes things real. Talking puts things in the forefront. Talking is a waste of time. Nothing ever gets solved by talking about it. People speak too much and regret what they say, but if you don’t speak at all, you can’t feel like a jackass later.
I glance over at Otter out of the corner of my eye. His face is unreadable from what I can see, and that’s only when a street lamp overhead passes by and flashes through the window. I think that maybe Anna can see things that I can’t. She’s kind of cool like that, having insights into people that I never have. Yeah, I give her shit about it, telling her she’s prying where she’s not wanted, telling her that she’s projecting, but usually she’s right. I sigh and look back out the window.
“What?” Otter asks.
“What what?” I say.
“It sounded like you just said something.”
“I didn’t.”
“Oh.”
It’s quiet a little bit longer before, “So you and Anna still, huh?”
“Me and Anna,” I say.
“You guys have been together for a long time.”