With Kyle, all she’d been able to see was him. She never had any desire to open her eyes and see who else was around her. She grew up sheltered, and being with Kyle had isolated her more. She knew it, but she hadn’t cared. She still didn’t.
Kyle had been her everything—her lover, her friend, her protector. He’d kept all of life’s harshness away from her, and as a result, she’d been naïve to the reality of the world.
Everything was easy for her. Her home life, her schoolwork, her love. Sure, she studied hard and put a lot of work into her education, but everything had been so easy.
Sometimes she thought it was too easy, and the universe had been set upon correcting her view of life. She’d never had experience with tragedy or loss. No unrest, no drama. When Kyle died, she felt like she was being punished for having such a good life. For having too much happiness.
Life had gone from being beyond Heaven to the deepest level of Hell in the space of a breath. Suddenly, she was trying to navigate this world alone, with no one to shield her or guide her. Maybe moving back home would have been easiest, but she couldn’t make herself. She’d just managed six months ago to sell the home she and Kyle bought together, and it’d been three years since he passed.
From blissful to infinitely disappointed with life, in a heartbeat. Literally. When Kyle’s heart stopped beating, hers was broken forever. There was no coming back from that, but she’d made her peace with it. She had her days when the sadness still felt like it was crushing her, but for the most part, she was on the verge of content. And that was enough. Although having a friend might be nice. She just wasn’t sure she could open herself up to hurt again. Bad things happened every day, even to her, she knew that now. She couldn’t take another loss.
An image of Ian Gallagher’s face floated in her mind again, and she groaned as she pushed herself off the couch. Heading to the kitchen in search of a dinner that didn’t require too much effort, she chided herself for thinking about him again. If she was going to take a risk on getting close to another person, it would be a friend. Not someone like Ian, who had the potential to mean more to her.
No. No, he didn’t. Absolutely not, she told herself firmly as she took a thoroughly unappetizing frozen pizza out of the freezer. There was no man who would ever come close to meaning to her what Kyle did. No man she would ever have that connection with again, if she could even make herself take the chance on someone else. And she couldn’t. She didn’t even want to.
She’d had her happiness. It was brief and over far too soon, but she’d had it, and it’d been so intense, so consuming, and more than her fair share. It was enough. It had to be.
IAN WALKED OUT ONTO THE PORCH AND SAT in his favorite chair after his shower, ex
haling in relief at being able to sit. His muscles were the satisfying kind of sore that only came after a good training session. He’d never admit it, but his meeting with Shelby’s teacher left him unsettled, and training had been his way of trying to work it, work her, out of his system.
Mrs. White. Holly. Yeah, he’d looked up Shelby’s beginning of the year paperwork so he could learn her teacher’s name. Holly. It reminded him of Christmas, but it also just suited her. He didn’t know how he knew, because he barely knew her at all, but it felt right.
Groaning at the direction his thoughts were going, he spotted Cammie walking toward the porch, grateful for the distraction. Lips quirking, he watched her basically waddle over. He’d never use that word in front of her, though. Cammie was tiny, and at nearly seven months pregnant, her belly was the biggest thing about her, and it was hard not to stare. He’d made that mistake once, and he swore his ears were still ringing from the tongue-lashing she’d given him.
He wouldn’t risk another. Especially since she never forgot anything, and once the baby was born, she’d probably kick his ass. And she could, literally, tiny or not. Every shifter had a special gift. Some were mental, some were physical, and Cammie’s was speed. It was almost impossible to catch her. Add in a hormonal rage she would no doubt be feeding the whole time, and it made for a fight that scared even him off.
“Ian,” she said curtly, lowering herself onto a chair.
“Cammie. How are you?”
“Miserable already. There’s no comfortable position I can get in, and my hormones are crazy. I’m up one minute and down the next. It’s frustrating.”
His brow quirked in concern. “Is everything okay? I mean, is that normal? When’s the last time you and Alex went to that shifter obstetrician?”
“Last week,” she replied, groaning as she tried to get comfortable. “Everything’s fine. The baby is just huge, damn Alex for that. He’s so damn big.”
“He’s tall, but not big, really. You’re just too small.” Ignoring the glare she sent him, he frowned as the implications sunk in. “The baby’s not too big, is it? You’re not in danger, are you?”
Rubbing her stomach, she shook her head. “Not right now. The doctor thinks his growth will slow down. But I have to go in once a week so they can monitor him.”
“Him?” Ian grinned. “You’re having a boy?”
A smile stretching her lips, she glanced over and nodded. “Keep that to yourself. I wasn’t supposed to say anything, it just slipped out. But Alex doesn’t want to know. He wants to be surprised, so not a word.”
“My lips are sealed.” A baby boy. Soon, they’d have a strong little male dragon running around at Rocky River. He hoped Cammie and Alex could keep control over the little firebreather. They’d just built a house on Rocky River property, plus the main house had recently been renovated. The last thing they needed was for either to be burnt down.
“How are the plans for the gym going?” she asked.
“They’re going okay,” he said, exhaling. “Seth is great at what he does, and he knows what a good gym should look like. I’m just still unsure if I’m going to follow through with it.”
“What? Why?” she asked in surprise.
“I don’t need the income, and there’s not a very big market for a gym in Eagle Creek. Plus, I know fighting. I know how to work with wood, thanks to Seth. I don’t know how to run a business.”
“You’re smart. You’ll figure it out quickly. And you know we’ll be behind you one hundred percent. I’ll have my CPA degree by then, so I can keep your books for you. Alex is a whiz with computers and advertising. And you’d be a great boss. Look at how well you keep us in line, and Lord knows, we don’t make it easy for you. If you can whip a bunch of misfits like us into shape, you can be a boss, and an amazing one at that.”
Lips curling in a half-smile, he replied, “You have a point with most of that, especially the last part. Managing you lot hasn’t been easy.”