Fuck off, Seth replied, but there was no heat to the words. That conclusion was common sense, but it was something he never let himself think about. He’d wanted to blame everyone else, but he had to accept that some of the blame was his own.
And surprisingly, he felt a little lighter inside at the realization. He would probably always harbor some bitterness for his family and clan for how things played out, but it wasn’t crushing and suffocating him anymore.
And he felt like Amelia was a large part of that realization. He didn’t think he would have thought this out if it weren’t for her. Yeah, Cammie’s kidnapping brought it all back, but he was doing what he always did, and repressing all the feelings that came with it. He wouldn’t have gotten to where he was right now without Amelia.
But there was still only so much he could handle at a time. So needing a distraction, he sat up, looking for something to occupy him while he waited on Amelia to come downstairs. Noticing a stack of romances on the side table, he picked one up, lips quirking as he looked at the cover. It had a half dressed man in breeches, an eye patch over his eye, holding onto an equally half dressed woman. So she liked romance novels. That was good to know. Maybe he’d read one someday. Surely he could pick up some tips and tricks from it. Lord knew he’d probably need them if he wanted to keep a woman like Amelia.
Leaning over, he put it back on the stack, but he misjudged the distance and knocked them all to the floor. Well shit. Heaving himself off the couch, he began picking them up, putting them back on the table. He’d just finished when he noticed a notebook on the floor.
Bending over, he picked it up, but he paused when he grabbed the cover to close it and saw his name. Curious about what she’d written about him, he started to skim it, then froze, body going cold as he realized it was a list. A list with clues as to what he could be.
Going back to the beginning, he began to read, starting with what her uncle said, becoming more furious with every line, a sense of disbelief filling him. He reached the end of the second list, where she’d written down different breeds of cats, staring at where she’d circled leopard.
It was all a lie. Everything they shared between them was a lie. She never desired him, never wanted him, not like he wanted her. It had all been a calculated attempt to learn the truth of what he was.
He’d been wrong. She wasn’t better than him. She never had been, because he would never do this to someone. He would never get close to someone just to get information, and now her remark when she was drunk about trying to seduce him made more sense. She’d been trying to seduce him to get the truth this whole time. She’d slept with him, shared her body with him, all because she wanted answers.
Who would do something like this? How she must have laughed at how gullible he was. And why had she continued the charade, even after she knew the truth?
It didn’t matter. None of it mattered, not in the face of what she’d done. And she probably kept up the game just because she wanted someone to warm her bed before she went back to England.
“Sorry,” she said breathlessly as she came down the stairs, a smudge of dirt on her cheek. “I was trying to finish cleaning Jerry’s room, and—”
Her eyes fell on the notebook in his hands, and she paled white as a sheet.
“I wasn’t snooping,” he said flatly, ignoring the pleading look in her eyes. “Unlike some people I could name, I don’t try to uncover secrets that aren’t my own.”
“Seth—”
“Everything was a lie, wasn’t it? From the moment you brought me those cookies, it was all a lie. You were trying to seduce my secrets out of me. Congratulations, you achieved your goal. But I would expect nothing less from a twenty-five year old with a PhD.”
“It’s not what you think. Please, let me explain.”
“How could you possibly explain this?” he demanded, holding the notebook up. “You’ve been trying to figure out what we are from the moment we met. You are an amazing actress. You never broke character. Shifters can hear lies, did you know that? And you never, not once, told me a lie. Incredibly sneaky and just plain brilliant. Do you know what one of my favorite things about you was? That you were so honest. I thought I’d never met a human as honest as you, from your words to your reactions. What a fucking idiot I am. Joke’s on me, right?”
Eyes filling with tears, her lower lip trembled as she said, “Please. Let me explain. It’s not all what you think.”
Hardening his heart to her tears, he scoffed. “Not all. Meaning some of it is. The fact that some of it is, is more than enough. I always knew I wasn’t all that smart, but you made me realize what a fucking fool I truly am.” Throwing the notebook down on the coffee table, he turned and headed for the door. “I have to get out of here. And in case you haven’t figured it out, we’re through. Feel free to head back to England soon. Tonight wouldn’t be soon enough.”
“Oh God, Seth, please don’t leave.”
He paused with his hand on the door. “Maybe you should have just went for Zane to begin with. He’s a shifter too, ya know? Of course you do, since you already had us all figured out. And I’m sure, as much as he wants you, he’d be willing to answer any questions you have. But he’s a prideful bastard, so he might draw the line at being tested, which was no doubt your ultimate goal. Too bad he already left to go home. I guess you’re just shit out of luck.”
“You lied too,” she rushed out, voice desperate. “You never told me what you are, and that’s a big thing to keep from the woman you’re sleeping with, the woman you’re starting something with.”
Rolling his eyes shut, he shook his head, still facing the door. “You’re right. I did lie by omission. But there’s a big difference. I was withholding the truth until we knew each other better, until we were more solid. I was withholding it because I didn’t want to lose you. You did what you did with a heart full of deceit. Your intent was to weasel the truth out of me. My intent was to protect what I thought was growing between us.”
Heart heavy, Seth yanked the door open and stormed out, slamming it behind him like the nail in the coffin of their relationship. The pain was enough to take his breath away, and had he been a weaker man, it would have brought him to his knees. As it was, he wasn’t sure how he was still standing.
His cat was a mess inside him, alternating between writhing in pain, and urging Seth desperately to turn around and fix this.
But there was no fixing this. He was a ball of hurt and sadness, and there was still a sliver of him that wanted to go back to her, try to figure out how to work past this. But there was no way to work it out. What she did was inexcusable, and there was no moving past it.
He’d survived the rejection of his family, and he would survive this, too. But it made one thing glaringly clear. It wasn’t his destiny to lead a happy life. It was his destiny to go through life just trying to make it one day at a time.
Amelia laid on the couch, clutching one of the throw pillows to her stomach, sobbing into another. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been in that position, but her eyes were swollen, and her tight throat was sore, but she couldn’t seem to make herself stop.
Her world had come crashing down around her in the space of a moment, and she had no one to blame but herself. She should have told him the truth, no mat