And for the first time ever, he was completely happy and almost at peace. He’d never felt so calm before, and he knew it was all because of her.
“You’ll never catch me,” the little boy said with a laugh as he darted away.
“Oh, yes I will!” Noah pumped his little legs as he rushed to catch up.
“I’m older than you. You’re too little and too slow.”
“You’re only older than me by six minutes, Chance!”
Noah caught up to the other boy and tugged on his arm. The little boy turned around, and it was as it had always been—like looking into a mirror. An exact replica of his face stared back at him, and then the little boy laughed and darted off again, leaving him behind.
“Noah? Noah, are you okay?”
Noah blinked his eyes in the darkness, frowning at the concern in Lily’s voice. He must have fallen asleep. He remembered thinking about how she’d changed his life, and then nothing.
Until the dream.
With a gasp, he jerked upright as the dream came to him—and then memory after memory slammed into him, stealing his breath. Eight years worth of missing memories, hitting him with the force of a wrecking ball. Stunned, he raised his hand to his chest, where the ache was at once better and sharper at the same time.
He finally knew what his missing piece was. Holy shit, how could he have forgotten, even for a moment?
It was too much for you, his lion said, still agitated as he paced, but his words calmer than they usually were. The attack, losing everything you knew, losing… him. Your mind locked the memories away to protect you.
Lowering his head to his hands, he shook it in despair. But I tried so hard to remember my life with my old pride. I. Tried.
Like I said, it was locked inside you where you couldn’t access it. Lily was the key to opening it all back up.
You knew this whole time, didn’t you? Why the hell didn’t you tell me?
You needed to learn this on your own. You needed to know because you remembered, not because I told you. The knowledge without the memories would have been just that—knowledge. It wouldn’t have meant as much if I just told you.
“Noah?” Lily asked, breaking into the conversation as she eased closer, smoothing her hand down his back. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
Shrugging at the same time he shook his head, he inhaled deeply. “I honestly don’t know. I tried to remember. I swear I did.”
“Remember what?” she asked, her voice gentle, like she was trying not to spook him.
“The missing piece. I know what it is now. I had a brother. An identical twin. His name was Chance.”
Her hand stilled as she sucked in a breath. “You had a memory while you were sleeping?”
Scrubbing his hands over his face, he nodded as he finally lifted his head. “Yeah. And when I woke up, it all came back to me. All of it. I remember the first eight years of my life now. I had an identical twin brother.”
She was quiet for a moment, and when she spoke again, her voice was hesitant. “Had?”
“I don’t think he survived the attack. In that first memory I had at the hotel, I was running away from the massacre. Me and Chance, we had a secret spot we played at that no one else knew of, and that’s where I was going. But I’d never been there in the dark and I got turned around in the woods. I never made it there. The next morning, I found my way back to our little town, but everyone was dead. And that’s when someone passing by found me. The one who knew Luke’s family and took me to them. I looked for him and I called out for him over and over, but Chance wasn’t there. And… my lion just now spoke of losing him.”
“I’m so sorry, Noah. So, so sorry,” she whispered, laying her head on his shoulder.
He swallowed hard as grief threatened to overwhelm him. He’d been unable to access his memories for so long, and he never really had an opportunity to grieve, because he hadn’t remembered any of his family—not his parents, who’d been nice but distant, and not Chance, who’d been everything to him.
He still couldn’t believe he’d forgotten him, even for a moment. Chance had been his other half. They shared an unbreakable bond, made even more solid by the fact that their parents were never really around much. They’d relied on each other for everything, and they were basically all each other had. And remembering him in that moment felt like losing him all over again—because he’d never remembered he had a twin, so he’d never grieved his loss.
He’s not dead.
Noah blinked at his lion’s words, straightening as his breath stalled. What? You just talked about losing him.
I meant in the sense that he wasn’t with us anymore. But you’re forgetting that Chance’s lion and I were bonded, too. I can feel him out there somewhere. I always have. That’s why I’m so restless. I can sense him, and it drives me nuts, knowing that he’s out there but I can’t get to him.