“Beauty and pain,” she said, almost to herself. “I don’t think you can separate the two.”
“Maybe pain exists to make us appreciate the beauty,” I said.
Autumn glanced up at me, her eyes soft. Inviting me closer.
I wanted to be close to this girl, but I was counter-programmed against letting anyone in; a little souvenir from Dad abandoning us and then having my innermost thoughts on the matter splattered all over Boston. They didn’t call me the Amherst Asshole on the track for nothing. I had a literal mean streak, outrunning everyone and leaving them in my rearview.
I coughed the softness out of my voice. “Or maybe pain is just pain, and we romanticize the hell out of it to make it survivable.”
Autumn leaned back. “I like your first theory better. Then again, my roommate is always telling me I’m a hopeless romantic. Well, I was anyway.”
“Was?”
Autumn smiled sadly.
I waved my hands. “Never mind. Sorry. I’m…”
Better on paper.
Autumn heaved a sigh worthy of Juliet on her balcony and her delicate fingers toyed with her pen. “What good is romance, anyway? A bunch of pretty words don’t mean anything unless there’s something real behind them.”
The sadness in her eyes I’d seen earlier returned, and I wondered if it had a name. Some asshole who’d pissed on her sunny romantic ideals and left her with clouds and rain.
She needs someone good. Someone who’ll make her smile and laugh. A decent guy with a big heart…
“Hey,” said a deep voice. “We meet again.”
Connor stood by the table, hands on his hips, King of the World and All He Surveyed. Autumn’s eyes widened to see him, and she swallowed. I followed the movement down her delicate throat, to the hollow just above her collar, where her pulse jumped. He smiled down at her, and she smiled up at him, recognition in both their expressions.
He met her first.
“Knew I’d find you here,” Connor said, chucking me on the shoulder, his gaze still on Autumn. “Didn’t expect this surprise.” He held out his hand. “Connor Drake.”
“Autumn Caldwell,” she said, her cheeks turning pink as her small hand was engulfed in his large one. The sadness in her eyes was long gone.
“I thought you said you already met,” I said, my voice lifeless as a drone.
“Not really,” Autumn said. “Just a hello-wave outside. How do you two know each other?”
“Roommates,” Connor said. “And friends since middle school.”
“How sweet.” She began gathering her books. “Both from around here?”
“Boston,” Connor said, watching her pack up. “Leaving already? Was Wes giving you a hard time?”
Autumn flashed me a smile. “I held my own.”
“Good for you,” Connor said. “Wes likes to pretend to be an asshole but deep down he’s… Actually, no, he’s just an asshole.”
I clenched my jaw. “Fuck off, Drake.”
“No, we were having a very interesting conversation,” Autumn said. “But I really have to go.”
“Gotcha,” Connor said. “But hey, this Saturday a bunch of us are getting together at Yancy’s Saloon. You know it?”
Autumn raised a brow. “Best pear cider in town.”
“I’m a whiskey and beer guy myself, but I’ll take your word on the pear cider.” Connor winked. “So you’ll come hang out? Shoot a little pool and chill before the semester gets crazy?”