“Madison,” he said, with a grin. “Good to see you.”
“You too,” I answered. “I’m really sorry about last night.”
He sat down at the table beside me, and Erica went back to her seat too. “It’s no problem,” Neil said. “Sometimes duty calls.”
“I just wish it wouldn’t call on my days off!”
“Help yourself to some food,” Erica told him, whilst grabbing up the lemon chicken before he could get his hands on it.
The three of us ate, drank and chatted until we were full, at which point, we relocated to Erica’s cosy living room to watch a movie. Neil sat beside me on the sofa, one muscly arm around my shoulders. It was the most relaxed I’d felt in twenty-four hours. Home wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, but I was pleased to be away from the uneasiness that hung in the air.
When the movie ended, we all had a coffee, then Erica, very kindly, left Neil and I alone.
“So tell me,” he said, “What made you rush off so fast last night? You said Tilly needed you. What happened?”
I groaned, rubbing my eyes tiredly. “Long story.”
“I’ve got some time.”
His brown eyes shone with warmth and concern, reminding me that he was more than just a gorgeous man with a great body. Not that I didn’t always know it, but I hadn’t seen him in a while, and talking wasn’t usually the first thing that sprang to mind when I thought of him.
“Well,” I began, “I’m going to lose my job.”
“What? How come?”
I gave him a brief rundown of Dominic’s move to New York, and filled him in on Tilly’s meltdown, carefully excluding the full details of the night before. When I’d finished, Neil said, “Will you stay in London after they’ve gone?”
“I haven’t thought about it yet. I only found out yesterday. I’m still in denial.”
“I can imagine. I bet you’ll really miss Tilly.”
“I’ll miss them both. It’s hard to think of them being in a different country.”
The full weight of the situation pressed down on me again, tightening my chest, making it ache.
“Tilly’s been everything for the last three years,” I said. “Every day I’ve taken her to school, taught her to read, helped with her writing, watched more mindless kid TV than is normal, but mostly, we have fun together. And I’d have done it all for free if I had to because I love taking care of her. I don’t know if it’ll be too depressing to stay here once they’ve gone.”
Neil tightened his arm around me. “I’d miss you if you left. So would Erica.”
“I’d miss you both too. Oh God, everything’s a big mess at the moment.”
“Well, if you need anything you can call anytime. I mean it.”
I smiled up at him. “I know.”
Neil’s lips brushed against mine, testing the waters to see if I wanted more. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him back, loving how easy it was to fit back in with him. I climbed on to his lap, straddling him. His hands found their way to my hips, then slid underneath my top to unhook my bra.
That used to be enough. Enough for me to be ready, to drag him to my room and do what we always did whenever we were alone. But as I kissed him, I realised I just wasn’t feeling it.
“Wait,” I said, pulling away. “Neil … I’m sorry, I just … I can’t do this. Not tonight.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. I think maybe I have too much on my mind, and I can’t … I can’t do it like this. I’m sorry.”
I climbed off his lap, both embarrassed and confused. I was the one who’d started it, after all.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Anyway, sex with two different guys in two days is a bit slaggy.