With a sigh, I forced myself onto my feet, telling myself to stop wallowing and appreciate
the good things coming my way. I had my best friend back! That was reason enough to snap out of this weird sadness.
When Jude got home, we sat down at our unnecessarily large dining room table to eat the steak and fries - a rare, mid-season treat - I’d cooked, and I tried not to gag at how raw he ate his meat. I hadn’t fully shaken off the words Taylor had said to me, or the messed up belief something was missing from my life but I’d kept busy, determined not to let it get the best of me.
“How did things go with the girls today?” Jude asked, topping up my wine glass.
I brightened a little at the mention of my friends. “Good. We didn’t really have enough time but it was fun to get together.” Again, Leah’s pregnancy flickered through my mind. I opened my mouth to speak, catching myself before I blurted the news out. I’d no idea if Radleigh had told everyone yet.
Jude’s lips quirked into a smile. “Radleigh told us about Leah.”
“Isn’t it awesome?” I took a celebratory gulp of wine. “Leah will be an amazing mom.”
I could already imagine her holding a baby, pushing a stroller when we went out to lunch, and being totally smitten with her little bundle of joy. I’d already seen how much she loved her nephew and how great she was with him. And, well, Radleigh had moments when he acted like a child… she’d gotten all the practice she needed.
“You think Radleigh and Leah will last?” Jude asked. “It’s pretty early in the relationship to add a baby in to the mix.”
I virtually heard him thinking, ‘They aren’t the most stable couple’.
“You don’t know Leah at all, plus you and Radleigh have never been best friends. They’re solid. An explosive kind of solid, but they want to be together. They work. I think they can survive anything.”
“They didn’t get together in the most conventional way.”
I fixed him with a stare of disbelief. “You’re gonna judge them on how they got together? Because we didn’t exactly have an eyes-met-across-a-crowded-room beginning.”
Jude halted his attack on his steak. “Fair point.”
“Maybe having a baby will make them stronger.”
“Are you trying to tell me something?” Jude crossed his eyes, making me snort out a laugh.
I guess I have some practice at dealing with a man-child too.
Was that the missing “thing”? Did I want a baby? Images of myself getting into a tangle while trying to change a diaper flew through my head, helping me answer the question. I definitely wasn’t ready for motherhood yet. I was more on track with the pet hamster.
“No,” I said. “Do we need to be brought closer together?”
Jude shook his head. “We’re good. I’m just kidding around.”
I watched him as he ate his dinner. My husband. He had been my husband for a year; I still hadn’t gotten used to the sound of those words. I had a husband. A gorgeous one at that. He was slim, some might say skinny. Muscles were well and good but I preferred a guy who didn’t look like he’d crush me if he rolled over in bed. He had enough strength to keep me safe, and his smile… if we ever got around to having children, I hoped they inherited his smile.
So, I wasn’t dissatisfied with Jude either.
Then what was I missing?
**
Apparently, Will and Freya couldn’t wait any longer to move in together, so the next weekend they rounded up the troops and we all pulled together to help. “The troops” consisted of me and Jude, Leah and Radleigh, Miguel, Bryce, and of course, Freya and Will. Will had packed up a bunch of his stuff during the week but he hadn’t come close to getting everything done so our first stop early Saturday morning was to Will’s apartment to help him finish up. Will had hired a van and he, Jude and Bryce drove back and forth to Freya’s with the already packed boxes. Freya and Miguel were at her place taking in Will’s packed up belongings and carefully stacking them up. That left me with Radleigh and Leah at Will’s which I was totally psyched about because I wanted to watch them for longer than the five minutes I’d been with them at the diner.
I wonder if they can be in a room together without arguing now?
“Can you hand me that duct tape?” Leah called to me as she closed the lid on another cardboard box. We were in Will’s living room, all three of us in separate corners.
I rolled the tape across the wooden floor towards her and she scooped it up.
“Don’t lift that box,” Radleigh said. “Let me do it.”
Leah rolled her eyes. “It’s full of cushions. I think I can carry a box of cushions to the hallway.”