That’s what I’m truly afraid of.
On the day before Baden was to leave for Phoenix, he gave me some tough love.
“If you don’t come to Phoenix,” he’d said with extreme candor, holding nothing back, “you’re giving up an incredible opportunity to confront your fears and regain your normal life.”
He pointed out that I would have no safer opportunity, and that I would be wasting this chance.
His was a last-ditch effort, born of his deep care for me. And most touching of all, he never once tried to make me feel bad for my shortcomings or my indecision on taking this step. His words and tone were without judgment and followed by positive encouragement that I’d be able to overcome these challenges one day.
“I’ll never give up helping you,” Baden promised. “Even if it takes forever to get you where you need to be. We’re a team, Sophie.”
After those words, a transcendental moment came over me during which I understood that this could be the most pivotal step in my emotional and mental recovery.
I had no choice but to jump off the ledge and know he’d be holding my hand the entire time I fell into my fear.
And so it was without further hesitation that I agreed to go.
Now here I am, disembarking from a plane in Phoenix, Arizona, and I’m going to attempt to get my life back, even if I can only do so with baby steps.
Baden and I packed light, able to cram enough clothing and toiletries into our carry-ons. We head through the airport to meet Baden’s friend, Riggs, outside the passenger pickup doors.
An incredibly handsome man, Riggs Nadeau is leaning against the passenger door of a champagne-colored Tahoe. Glancing up from his phone, he locks onto Baden as we approach, a huge grin splitting his face.
Pushing off the SUV, Riggs meets Baden with a hug—hands clasped and backslaps—before turning to me.
“This is Sophie,” Baden says to his friend.
“Welcome to Phoenix,” Riggs says, his easygoing smile infectious, so I give it back.
Baden told me about some of his Vengeance friends, Riggs being the one he talks about most. I feel reasonably confident I can tease him when I say, “Baden said you used to be a real jerk on the team, but now you’re not.”
Riggs tips his head back and laughs before regarding me with amusement. “He’s not wrong about that.”
Proving himself a gentleman, Riggs takes our suitcases and loads them in the back. I slide into the back seat while Baden sits up front with Riggs, and we are on our way.
“How’s Janelle?” Baden asks as we exit the airport.
“She’s amazing.” The pride is evident in Riggs’s voice. “Although she and Veronica tend to gang up on me, and they seem to think it’s a democracy where everyone gets an equal vote when we’re trying to decide things.”
Baden laughs and claps his friend on the shoulder. “You’re so screwed, my man. Owned by two women.”
I’m only able to see Riggs’s profile from the back, but I can see enough to marvel at the softness in his expression. “I don’t mind being owned by them at all.”
I’ve never heard that tone from a man before. It goes beyond love. It’s a slew of feeling that I’m sure at the core is love, but I hear protectiveness, vulnerability, and joy, all of which tells me Riggs is brimming with emotion. I find it beautiful to hear a man so content with his life because of the two women who seem to rule it.
Baden told me a bit about Riggs’s history, although nothing that was a secret. Mostly stuff known by the entire team. He and his sister Janelle suffered various forms of abuse growing up, and Riggs had removed her from a toxic and potentially dangerous environment with their mother and her newest husband.
“What’s the situation with your mom?” Baden asks.
Riggs doesn’t hesitate to answer nor does he cut a look my way in the rearview mirror or over his shoulder. He must assume that Baden has told me about his background. Plus, I don’t think Baden would’ve asked if he thought Riggs wouldn’t want me to hear the answer.
I lean forward slightly, my interest piqued. Riggs made national sports news recently when his stepfather was arrested for assault and attempted kidnapping, and his mother was a cohort.
“Shep is still in the county jail. His bail is set at two hundred thousand, and there’s no way my mom can afford that.”
“Would she bail him out if she had the money?” Baden inquires.
Riggs laughs mirthlessly. “She only texts me five times a day asking for the bail money, to which I reply with a resounding no each time.”
“You should block her,” Baden grouses, clearly not liking the pressure that puts on his buddy.
Riggs nods grimly. “I would if I didn’t need to make sure I have some line of communication on the off chance something happens to Janelle. I need to be able to get in touch with her. But I’m pretty good at ignoring her, so it doesn’t bother me.”