Gone was the sexy lover. Alessio Capelli was once more the ruthless divorce lawyer. Since boarding his private jet, he’d been on the telephone, speaking in rapid Italian to a non-stop stream of people who were clearly desperate for his advice.
After one such call he glanced up at her, his handsome face blank of expression. ‘There’s a message on my phone from Dino. It seems that he and your sister are back in Rome.’
‘Oh. Right.’
‘He says they’re engaged.’
Lindsay wondered why she felt so numb. ‘I’m so pleased for them.’
‘Pleased?’ His dark brows locked in a dangerous frown. ‘How can you be pleased? I would have thought it was the last thing you wanted for her.’
‘One thing you taught me was that you can’t live someone else’s life for them,’ she murmured, turning her head and looking out of the window. He’d taught her other things too, things she was never going to forget. Like the fact that sometimes the right choice wasn’t obvious. ‘I hope they’ll be happy.’
‘They’ll probably drive each other up the wall.’ He gave a faint smile. ‘And I suppose you’ll end up counselling them.’
‘And if I fail, you’ll end up doing their divorce.’
‘Stay with me in Rome.’ His blunt command was so unexpected that for a moment she simply stared at him.
‘Pardon?’
‘This doesn’t have to be over, Lindsay.’
His words were so unexpected that for a moment she didn’t breathe.
He
was offering her more.
He wanted to extend their relationship into the future. Sexually, intellectually they would be good together—
Willing to agree to anything that would give them a little more time together, Lindsay opened her mouth to say yes. But she couldn’t do it.
How could she say yes, knowing that he didn’t feel anything for her? For him, it was all about the sex and she knew that marriages based on sex didn’t last.
She wasn’t like her mother. For her, the price was too high.
‘You’re offering me that coveted position as your mistress?’ Somehow, she managed to make a joke of it. ‘Well, I can certainly see some advantages. For a start I’d be given that phone number. At least I’d be able to contact you when I wanted to without having to doorstep you in your office.’
‘So is that a yes?’
She blinked several times, frustrated that tears should threaten now. ‘No, Alessio, it isn’t a yes. How can it be a yes?’
‘Because it’s what you want.’
‘No,’ Lindsay said quietly. ‘It isn’t. I don’t want a relationship that’s based on sex. This morning I slipped and said “I love you” and that’s something that you just don’t want to hear.’
‘You’re probably more comfortable with those words than I am. I expect you heard “I love you” when you were growing up,’ he said gruffly. ‘I didn’t.’
Lindsay was silent for a moment. ‘Let me tell you the truth about my parents’ relationship.’ She took a deep breath and plunged. ‘They weren’t happily married at all. In fact, I don’t have a single memory that involves them being happy. I didn’t hear “I love you”. They shared a powerful chemistry and very little else.’ She gave a painful smile. ‘That chemistry seemed to stop them from acting sensibly. They’d separate and then get back together and then separate again—they couldn’t stop having sex, but they couldn’t bear each other’s company outside the bedroom.’ She broke off and glanced at him, but his handsome face was expressionless as he listened.
‘Go on.’
She shrugged. ‘Even at the age of seven I used to think to myself, “Why don’t the two of you try talking to each other?” But they just never did. It was hideous. For five minutes it would be delirious happiness because Daddy was home—then they’d vanish to the bedroom and a few hours later the rows would start again.’
‘And you witnessed the rows.’
‘Rows, sex—my parents didn’t seem to think we needed protecting from what was going on. I think they were little more than children themselves.’ Lindsay sighed. ‘I don’t know which was worse—their rows or their divorce. Ruby was the result of one of my parents’ many abortive attempts at reconciliation. It didn’t work. In fact, having Ruby made things worse. The responsibility of a young baby made it harder for my mother to have a relationship with Dad, so she just abdicated responsibility.’