‘I know.’ She gave him a shy smile. ‘We were all afraid that the new consultant would be the sort who interfered with every labour. You know, out with the forceps at the slightest hint of a problem.’
‘Not me,’ he drawled, his eyes dancing. ‘I’m too lazy for that. If a woman can do it by herself I’d much rather save myself the work.’
But she knew that wasn’t true. He wasn’t lazy at all. Just incredibly gifted, and forward-thinking. Ahead of many of his profession. But talking about work wasn’t why they were in the pub.
She stirred herself. ‘So, have you decided what you want to do?’ Her voice was gruff and she rubbed damp hands on her soft wool skirt as she waited for his answer.
‘Not yet. Look at me, Brooke.’ His tone was insistent and she lifted her eyes.
‘What?’
‘You’re overlooking one thing in all this. What we shared that night was very special—we both felt it.’
Her heart stumbled in her chest. ‘It was just one night, Jed—’
‘But it doesn’t have to be.’ The expression in his eyes made her stomach flip over and her pulse race.
‘What are you suggesting?’
‘We could get to know each other better and see what happens.’
Her eyes widened and she shook her head violently. ‘No! It wouldn’t work. It just wouldn’t work.’
‘Give me one good reason.’
‘I can give you a very good reason,’ she said quietly, her voice sad. ‘Toby. I know you love him already and you’ll be a great father. And no matter what you truly feel about me, you’ll try and make it work for Toby’s sake.’
‘No—’
‘Yes,’ she said firmly, ‘can’t you understand that, Jed? We can be friends and we should be for Toby, but we can never be anything more because that would just be satisfying your sense of responsibility.’
He swore softly and shook his head in frustration. ‘Do you really have such a low opinion of yourself?’
‘I’m a realist,’ she said simply. ‘The only reason you want a relationship with me is because you feel a responsibility towards Toby.’
A muscle worked in his hard jaw. ‘So if I can prove you wrong about that…’
‘You can’t.’ She finished her drink and stood up. ‘Shall we call it a night?’
He gave a short laugh. ‘It’s just as well we decided on the pub. If we’d been at home now I definitely would have just strangled you. Brooke…’ He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. ‘You owe it to Toby to give it a try.’
‘Don’t tell me what I owe my son, Jed.’ She shrugged his hands away and her gaze was cool as she slipped her arms into her warm jacket. ‘I know better than you what it’s like to have parents who aren’t in love but are obsessed with responsibility. Believe me, it doesn’t do much for a child’s confidence or happiness. If we got together, sooner or later you’d end up resenting me and feeling frustrated by all the things that marriage to me had made you miss out on. I don’t want that for Toby.’
Neither did she want it for herself. She couldn’t live with a man she was crazy about, knowing that he didn’t love her.
* * *
The next morning Jed turned up in time to drop Toby at the childminder’s and give her a lift to work.
‘This is ridiculous,’ Brooke muttered as she slipped into the passenger seat. ‘You can’t provide a taxi service every day. We could have caught the bus.’
She’d already looked in the paper for cars, but hadn’t seen anything within her price range that looked reasonable.
‘It’s pouring with rain again.’ He swung the car onto the main road and put his foot down, much to Toby’s delight. ‘I thought you’d be pleased.’
Actually, she was. The weather was grim and if she was honest she’d been dreading battling her way to work on the bus.
She relaxed slightly, although there was something in Jed’s face that made her feel uneasy. After her final outburst the previous evening he hadn’t really said anything. He’d just driven her home in silence and left her with a promise to collect them both in the morning.