‘Evanna, wait!’
Kyla’s voice came from behind her but she ignored her and drove off without glancing back.
She drove the short distance to her cottage, parked the car and nearly twisted her ankle on the path that led to her front door. It was the final straw. With a sob of frustration she stooped and slid them from her feet, throwing them angrily on the grass. She struggled with her key, somehow managed to open the door of her cottage, even though her eyes were swimming with tears and she couldn’t see clearly.
‘Evanna.’ Kyla was right behind her and she turned, all the emotions of the evening suddenly released.
‘You didn’t need to follow me. I didn’t want you to. You’re my best friend, Kyla, but there are some things that even best friends can’t fix.’ Her voice was choked. Clogged with tears. ‘Leave me alone, please. I just need to be on my own for a bit.’
‘But I can—’
‘But you can what? You can what, Kyla? If you’re even thinking about coming up with another plan to make your brother notice me, you can forget it because I already feel completely and utterly humiliated. He is never going to notice me, and the sooner I come to terms with that, the better for all of us.’ She turned and sprinted up the rest of the stairs and into her bedroom.
‘Evanna, wait, please …‘
Evanna was holding back sobs, the breath tearing in her throat as she tried hard not to cry. ‘Please, leave me alone. I need to be on my own.’
‘No, you don’t. You’re upset and—’
‘Can’t you see?’ Tears flooded down her face and Evanna gave up the struggle for control. ‘Can’t you see that this is never going to work? Aren’t you satisfied? We changed the way I dressed and he simply thought I looked ridiculous! He told me to put my hair back up so that Kirsty wouldn’t pull it and to wear something more flat and comfortable on my feet, and do you know what that is?’ She ripped the dress from her body so violently that she tore the fabric. ‘Because I’m not a flamenco dancer or anyone glamorous. I’m just me and it isn’t enough.’
‘Don’t, Evanna.’ Kyla reached out a hand to try and stop her but Evanna brushed her away, stepped out of the dress and reached for her comfortable dressing-gown.
‘Enough!’ The tears thickened her words as she quickly covered herself. ‘You have to let it drop, Kyla, and so do I. When I was on the mainland I promised
myself that this wasn’t going to happen again. I wasn’t going to keep hoping. No more jumping through hoops. No more waving flags that say, Here I am! No more humiliation. And now here I am yet again, crying over a man who doesn’t want me. It has to stop. It’s got to stop.’
Kyla’s eyes were swimming with tears. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she whispered, and Evanna felt herself pulled into a warm hug. ‘I’m so, so sorry.’
‘Don’t be sorry,’ she said gruffly, wiping the tears from her cheeks with the flat of her hand. ‘It’s me who should be sorry for yelling at you. You’re a good friend and you were only trying to help. It wasn’t your fault. None of this is your fault. It’s nobody’s fault.’
‘Yes, it is. It was me who forced you to dress up for him. I just know you’d be so amazing together.’ Kyla’s expression was stricken as she wiped the tears from her own face. ‘I shouldn’t have interfered, but I love both of you so much.’
Evanna reached for a tissue. ‘And you can carry on doing that, but you have to love us separately. Logan and I are not a couple and we never will be. We can’t be together.’
Kyla sank down on the edge of the bed. ‘So what will you do now?’
‘I’m going to do my job, help look after Kirsty and be a good friend to your brother.’ Evanna blew her nose hard and kept her tone matter of fact. ‘It’s what he needs from me. It’s what he wants.’
‘But what about what you want?’
‘What I want isn’t important at the moment. What’s important is Kirsty and Logan. He’s been through hell and he needs support. And that’s what friends are for.’ Evanna looked up with a watery smile. ‘You can have those shoes, if you like. I left them in the garden. You’re the same size as me and I don’t think I’ll be wearing them again. Anyway, they pinched my toes.’
‘Oh, Evanna …’
Evanna shook her head. ‘I’m not a high heel sort of girl. I’m just me and—and he doesn’t want me. And that’s fine,’ she said, blowing her nose for a final time. ‘Deep down I always knew that I wasn’t the right girl for him. I’ve just been deluding myself in the same way that all the other women on this island do. But he has no idea how I feel, so that’s good. If he knew, that would make the whole situation incredibly embarrassing. As it is, we can carry on as if nothing has happened.’
She almost laughed as she listened to herself. Nothing had happened. Except in her dreams. And in her dreams was the only place that Logan was ever going to be.
CHAPTER FIVE
AFTER a sleepless night, Evanna woke with a pounding headache and gritty eyes to find Craig on the doorstep, ready to finalise the details for her bathroom.
‘It’s not even eight o’clock, Craig.’ Her voice was croaky with lack of sleep and she dragged a hand through her tangled hair. ‘And it’s Sunday. Don’t you have a home to go to?’
‘I finished up at the Murray place last night so I thought I might as well come down here and get started as soon as possible. Can’t get any peace at home, anyway, with our Molly waking everyone up at the crack of dawn.’ He was wearing filthy overalls and Evanna led him through to the kitchen and put the kettle on.
‘I can’t string a sentence together until I’ve had a cup of coffee,’ she muttered, spooning fresh coffee into a pot and adding the water. A delicious aroma filled the kitchen. ‘What time does Molly wake up?’