Why was he asking her so many questions?
He’d shown more interest in her than the three men she’d dated put together.
“I’m not giving up on love. I’m giving up on internet dating.” She hadn’t thought about it until that moment, but she realized she meant it. After the last guy, she’d never believe anything she read about anyone again. She needed to be able to look into their eyes and judge whether they seemed honest or not. “Which probably means no more dating at all. It’s not easy meeting people.”
“That’s true.”
She hadn’t expected him to agree with her. “You must meet people all the time at the hospital.”
“Not really. I don’t date patients, obviously, and most of my colleagues are too busy to even think about connecting socially, even if we could get past the awkwardness of dating someone you see every day.”
She’d always assumed that dating was easy for everyone else. That she was the only one who found the whole thing daunting and overwhelming.
Harriet wondered if she still counted as a patient, and then wondered why she was even thinking that.
She’d assumed someone like him would be married with two cute kids.
It hadn’t occurred to her he’d be single.
What was wrong with the world?
Unsettled by her own thought processes she made a joke. “Maybe you should try internet dating. Put ‘doctor’ down and you’ll be inundated. Especially when people realize you actually are a doctor.”
“I’m nobody’s idea of a dream date, Harriet.”
He would have been her dream date.
Where had that thought come from? Flustered, she took a sip of her wine, reminding herself that he didn’t like dogs. She could never be with anyone who didn’t like dogs, even if he was a good listener and had eyes that made her think of blue skies and long summer days.
“You’re too hard on yourself. Shrek would seem like a dream date compared to the last three guys I met.”
“I’ve never been compared to Shrek before. I may need therapy to get over that one.”
At least he had a sense of humor. “You said you lost a patient. How do you handle that?”
The worst thing she handled in her working day was misbehaving dogs and inclement weather.
“Tonight I handled it by losing my temper with you.” His tone was dry, his words self-deprecating. “Normally? I deal with it by filing it away as part of the job. It’s not something I usually talk about. I can’t believe I did. I assume it was a pathetic attempt on my part to induce a pity response that might lead to forgiveness.”
She loved his honesty. Her respect for him grew. “People don’t expect doctors to show their feelings. Which must make it hard. You’re supposed to be caring, but still detached. How does that even work?”
“Sometimes it doesn’t. Generally it’s easier in the emergency room. The people I see are strangers. I don’t have the connection with them that doctors in other specialties might. My father works in primary care, and there are some families he has been seeing for thirty years. When he loses a patient he grieves right along with the family. I learned to handle my feelings a long time ago. Most doctors do. You learn to put up emotional boundaries.”
“But putting up boundaries doesn’t mean you’re not feeling it, does it? When you walked through that door earlier you were on edge. Irritable and upset. That’s why you lost your temper over nothing.”
“I’m willing to concede that I was wrong in my response to the situation, but I will not admit th
at the destruction of my apartment was nothing.”
Harriet finished her wine. “I’m sitting here because you told me you had lost a patient. If you’re now telling me that it had no effect on you, I’m going to walk through that door and I’ll be taking Madi with me.”
“My sister was so wrong about you. She told me you were gentle. She never mentioned you were ruthless and capable of blackmail.” He reached to top up her glass again but she shook her head and covered the glass with her fingers.
“No more. It’s cold out there. I don’t want to slip and bang my head on the way home. I especially don’t want to be taken to the emergency room.”
He put the bottle down. “Because now you know I work there.”
“No, because you’re not on duty tonight.” She spoke without thinking and saw the surprise flicker across his face. She was surprised too. No more wine, Harriet. “I mean because you’re obviously a good doctor. No other reason. And I’m only ruthless when it comes to protecting animals.”