It was hard to know which of them was more surprised.
Fliss stopped too. Her jaw dropped. “Your hair!”
Harriet dropped the perfume and they flung their arms round each other, laughing and talking at the same time.
Fliss was the first to pull away, but only so that she could take a closer look at Harriet.
“I would never have dared have mine cut that short. It looks fantastic. We look so different.”
We are different, Harriet thought. Always have been. But it was only now that she was starting to appreciate those differences. “I’ve stopped trying to be like you.”
“If you were about to clock me with a heavy object, you’re more like me than you think.” Fliss picked up the abandoned perfume bottle. “What were you going to do with this? Make sure your intruder smelled good before you killed him? Nothing more guaranteed to dampen the Christmas spirit than the scent of rotting corpse.”
Harriet grinned, ridiculously pleased to see her sister. “What are you doing here? Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. You’re supposed to be on your way to stay with Seth’s family.”
“I wanted to see you. When you sent me that text saying that you’d broken up with Ethan I couldn’t possibly go away and leave you alone over Christmas.”
Harriet felt a rush of warmth. Ethan’s family circle might be larger than hers, but there was nothing in the world, nothing, that came close to the sheer good fortune of having a twin.
“I appreciate you showing up here, but I’m fine.” She retrieved her suitcase from outside the apartment and pushed the door shut.
“How can you be fine? You haven’t said much, which I hate by the way, but I really had the impression you were in love with him.”
“I am in love with him.” Harriet hauled her suitcase through to the bedroom, wondering if it was ever going to get easier to say that. “But he doesn’t love me.” She glanced at her sister, who was still standing in the middle of the living room watching her.
There was anxiety in Fliss’s eyes. “You’ve not been together that long. Maybe in time he’d—”
“No.” Harriet said it firmly. “Don’t do that. Don’t say that. You’re trying to make me feel better, but kidding myself that one day he might return my feelings isn’t helpful. Trust me.”
“I get it. I do. You don’t want to be like Mum and Dad.”
Hearing the shake in her sister’s voice, Harriet discovered she wasn’t as fine as she’d thought she was. “Do you mind if we don’t talk about this?”
“Usually you like to talk about things that are bothering you.”
“I’m getting better at handling them by myself. Where is Seth?”
“He had to do some last-minute shopping. You know what men are like with gifts.” Fliss walked toward her. “You don’t have to handle everything by yourself. I may not still be living here, but I’m still your sister. Your twin. And your business partner. I’m only a phone call away.”
“I know that. And of course I’ll call if I need to.” Harriet hugged her. “But I like knowing I can handle it. It gives me a sense of security, knowing I can handle it. And speaking of the business, I’ve decided that if you want to add dog sitting into the mix for established clients we know and trust, then I’m on board with that.”
Fliss pulled away. “Seriously? Because you didn’t think you could handle that.”
“That was then and this is now. I can handle it.”
Fliss hugged her again. “I’m so proud of you. You’re strong and smart and amazing. I came here expecting you to be a mess. Finally you fell in love, and—sorry, sorry. I’m not talking about it.”
“I am a mess. Truly, I feel completely and utterly crap.”
“Never heard you say ‘crap’ before.”
“Lately I’ve said a lot of things I’ve never said before.” Like I love you. “Right now I don’t feel strong or smart. I feel really bad, but I’ll handle it. This is just another obstacle and that’s what life is all about. It’s a series of obstacles.” She pulled away from Fliss and walked across the room to switch on the Christmas tree lights. “Over Thanksgiving I decided I was going to force myself to do a challenge a day and I planned to end that at Christmas.”
“You’re not ending it?”
Harriet lit the candles she kept around the living room, thinking how much she loved her apartment. “For years I’ve been thinking ‘if only I was more like Fliss,’ or ‘if I was braver life would be easier,’ but every day brings challenges and obstacles, and you can either dodge them or deal with them. For years I dodged them. I chose to take the route with no obstacles. No way was I going to make that awkward phone call, or stand up to clients when they were rude because that made me feel uncomfortable. I dodged and I hid behind you and Daniel and thanks to you I lived a safe, protected life.”
“And then we both abandoned you.” Fliss looked stricken.