“No, honey. I ate enough of Dora’s delicious casserole to fill me up for days.”
“All right, then. I’ll be back when I’ve cleaned up.”
“You don’t have to clean up my mess.”
“I’m great at cleaning up other people’s messes. It’s my own I struggle with.” She left her grandmother with the remote control for the TV and went back to the kitchen.
Cleaning up worked off the rest of her anger and confusion.
She clattered pans, loaded the dishwasher, emptied the trash, all the while thinking about Seth.
She polished the stove until it shone and then took iced tea to her grandmother.
“I cleaned your kitchen.”
“I’m grateful for that clarification because for a moment there I was worried you were demolishing it.” Her grandmother took the glass from her. “You leave the house to go on a date with Seth, smiling, and then you return and start breaking things. Is that something you’d like to talk about?”
“Nothing is broken.” But her heart would be if she listened to him, if she let herself fall the way she’d fallen the first time. “And there’s nothing to tell.”
She sat down opposite her grandmother, but her emotions were too all over the place for her to stay sitting, so she sprang up again and started tidying magazines. Her grandmother subscribed to two crafting magazines and a gardening magazine, so there was plenty to keep her occupied.
“Something he did, or said, flustered you and made you angry.” Her grandmother took a sip of tea. “And then there’s the fact that Seth picked you up but didn’t drop you home after your day together. He’s too much of a gentleman to make you find your own way, so you must have chosen to come by yourself.”
“He isn’t that much of a gentleman.”
“I may be old, but you’ll find that age often comes with wisdom, and that can be an advantage. There’s also the added bonus that you don’t have to protect me and you can certainly trust me. I hope you know that.”
Fliss discovered she did know that. “He wants us to see each other again. But if it didn’t work out the first time, why would it work out this time?”
Her grandmother put her cup down slowly. “So it’s not that you’re not interested, it’s that you’re scared.”
“Is that so surprising?”
“No. Love can be scary. We put our heart in the hands of another. That requires trust. But the alternative is that we go through life without love, and that’s not a great option either.”
“I know. I saw Mom live through that. I saw what it was like to love a man who didn’t love her back. Dad was the only man for her. I guess that’s why she never gave up trying.” Something in the way her grandmother was looking at her made her feel uncomfortable. “What have I said? She found herself in the same situation as me. She was in love with Dad, got pregnant—” The words fell out before she could stop them, and she stared at her grandmother, mortified, wondering if she could snatch the words back. “I mean, that part wasn’t the same, obviously—”
“You think I didn’t already know you were pregnant?” Her grandmother studied her over the rim of her cup. “I never believed that whirlwind romance story. Not for a moment.”
Fliss stared at her, paralyzed by shock.
She’d held the secret close to her for so long. At the time she’d been worried some people might have guessed, or at least wondered, but then she’d lost the baby so it hadn’t seemed to matter anymore.
The fact that her grandmother knew made her feel panicky. Exposed.
“I—”
“You don’t have to sit there working out what to say to me. You don’t owe me, or anyone else, an explanation. You were pregnant, but you were also in love. Why not get married?”
Her grandmother made it sound so simple. So logical.
The feelings of panic receded.
“I had feelings, it’s true.” The depth of those feelings was something she kept to herself. “And Seth Carlyle is a good, decent guy.”
“You think that’s why he married you? Because he’s decent?”
“It was hardly something he would have done otherwise.”