“No.” He still appears confused; however, I’m able to relax as his anger diminishes. A small smile appears. “I wish Gabe had something to do with it. He’s a good guy . . . the guitar player in Brady’s band, but my sister’s never hooked-up with him. The wedding’s off because Harrison cheated on her . . . again. He’s been like a scab that won’t go away.”
It’s hard for me to imagine Liv with a guy like that. The charming, carefree girl I’d spent time with didn’t appear at all the type to put up with a cheater. But love does funny things to people. Makes them do things they wouldn’t normally.
The man sitting across from me is proof of that. I was never the type to waste nearly a year of my life pining after a guy. But I did. Why? Love. Love is deranged, both fickle and fierce. It happens when we least expect it and once it grabs hold of you, it won’t let go until it’s completely satisfied.
I can’t judge Liv, especially when I’m still waiting out my own complicated relationship. I can only hope it ends differently for me than it has for her.
Javier spent the night at Brady and Tori’s. Thank God for family. Peyton in my bed and in my arms the entire night was bliss, but it was also humbling. Not in a way I should be ashamed of or that makes me resentful. In a way that makes me see what I have, and how much I want to hang on to her. It won’t be long before I tell Javier. He’s too smart not to figure it out and lying to him isn’t right. Nor is making Peyton pretend. She’s mine and I don’t want to hide her from anyone.
“Aidan,” she says in a sleepy voice, lifting her head from my chest and looking right at me. “I love you.”
The air rushes out of me in a sigh that sounds like I’m irritated with her. Her frown bothers me because I hate disappointing her. “Hey . . .” She tries to smile, but can’t. “I don’t . . . I can’t . . .” Fuck, everything I think in my head doesn’t come out right when I open my mouth. Her lip quivers, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let her cry. With my arm already hooked around her, it’s easy to flip her to her back so I feel like I have some control. I stare down at her now, brushing the hair from her face. I love her, but I’m not capable of admitting it. “I can’t lie to you and say something I’m not ready to admit, but I do love hearing you say you love me. And I don’t want you to stop.”
She nods as a smile finally forms. “Okay.”
The intensity in one little fucking word makes my heart swell. I bend my head and kiss her on the mouth, the cheek and the tip of her adorably perfect nose, before I return to her mouth. This goddamn woman is going to strip away every single block from the walls I’ve spent years building. I know she is and it terrifies me, and not because I’m worried about the power she’d have to destroy me. It’s the fear of me forgetting why I built the walls, because if I can’t remember, I might just destroy her.
In the afternoon, after I spent the morning giving Peyton several well-earned orgasms, we make the walk from the rental car to Brady’s front door. I feel the nerves buzzing between our joined hands.
“He’ll be all right with this,” I tell her to offer some reassurance. In truth I’m as nervous as she is to tell Javier. She nods as I ring the doorbell.
Brady answers and holds the door open as we go inside. He hugs Peyton like she’s a good friend which throws me for a minute, until I remember her and Tori have spent a lot of time together. “Tori’s out back,” he tells her, nodding at the slider. “I’m sure she’d loved to see you,” he adds when she doesn’t make a move to leave.
“Oh, sure.” She smiles at me before heading to the back door.
“Subtle, bro,” I say, shoving Brady in the shoulder.
“What, I just want to check on how things went.”
“Dude, we aren’t in high school. I’m not swapping stories.” He gives me that look he can’t help when he doesn’t find me amusing. “It went well. I’m fine. She’s fine. Good?”
“Going after some girl and asking her to stay with you is huge and that’s all I get?
“She’s not just some girl.”
“Clearly. So is it serious?”
“Yes.”
“Good. That’s what I wanted to hear. Peyton’s cool and her and Tori are tight so don’t fuck it up.”
It would be pointless for me to tell him I won’t, when we both know my fucking up will happen eventually. Whether intentional or not, I’ll end up hurting Peyton at some point. How I handle it when I do will determine if I’ve truly changed. “I’m trying, Brady.”
“I know you are.”
My worries are in her discovering I have a bad habit of letting people down. “There’s still a lot she doesn’t know about me.”
“She knows what she needs to and she and Tori have . . . talked.”
“She knows about our history,” I tell him after assuming that’s what he was getting at.
“You shouldn’t worry. She’s okay with it.”
“Yeah, I know.” Peyton’s always okay. I’m starting to think her heart is made of steel. “I’m passed that. I have been since before I met Maria. Helping Tori while you were on the road was never about trying to get her back. I hope you know that.”
“I’m grateful you were here for Tori . . . but you know you aren’t the only one that has regrets about Mari
a. We all could have done things differently. Things that may or may not have prevented what happened.”