Rafe gets up and follows me. I stiffen as he encircles my waist from behind, holding my body against his. “You’re so attentive to his needs,” he murmurs with deceptive pleasantness.
My heart skips a couple beats, but I try to keep my breathing steady. Chances are, holding me like this, he’ll be able to feel my body’s response if it’s not subtle enough. “Are you trying to embarrass me?” I murmur, preferring Sin doesn’t hear, but knowing he might anyway. We aren’t far enough away from the island that I can be sure he won’t.
“Do you like being embarrassed?” Rafe asks, bending his head to kiss my neck. I’m sure it’s no coincidence that the spot he kisses now is exactly the same spot where Sin left the hickey.
This is so fucking mean. It’s torture knowing Sin is back there watching this. I wish I could convey a silent apology, but I’m sure he knows I’m not doing this on purpose.
“No, I don’t,” I tell Rafe firmly.
“Neither do I,” he responds smoothly. “Don’t ever give him his fucking food before you give me mine again.” His hand grips my jaw and he tilts it up firmly as he murmurs into my ear, “Understand?”
I’m vibrating with fury, but I nod my head as he leans in and kisses my jaw. “I didn’t think about it. I forgot.”
“It’s not that hard to remember. You serve your man first. Unless you were having trouble remembering which one of us you belong to?”
I glare, but he can’t see it since he’s behind me. Still, I’m sure he can hear the hostility in my voice when I assure him, “Oh, no, I know exactly who I belong to.”
Sin’s voice startles me as he snaps, “Hey, are we gonna work, or what?”
“Keep your pants on,” Rafe tells him.
My blood runs cold, since I don’t know if that’s pointed. Since I just pulled Sin’s pants down and sucked him off last night, I’m paranoid. I’m convinced that means he knows.
Concern for Sin helps me put a leash on my temper and I turn back to Rafe, looking up at him with a little remorse. “I wasn’t trying to embarrass you. I really just forgot. There’s no one here to see, anyway. It’s just us.”
“Just don’t do it again,” he tells me, holding my gaze.
Do what again? Serving Sin breakfast, or what I did last night? I’m so confused. I wish he would just say what he means. That’s all I want from Rafe—clear communication. If he’s going to go full on villain and blackmail me into this relationship, I wish he’d just tell me that. The guess work and reading into every little thing is so stressful.
I’m terrified he’ll do something that can’t be undone. I’m terrified of what he’s capable of. With Sin, it’s sexy. With Rafe, it’s scary. I don’t know why.
Well, I guess I do know why. I’m never really worried Sin would hurt Rafe, but I am worried Rafe would hurt Sin. Rafe doesn’t have the same kind of loyalty Sin has, and that makes him a bigger threat right now.
At least for the moment, I get a breather. Rafe goes back to his seat and starts eating the breakfast I made him, and I take Sin his coffee, sliding it across the island without meeting his gaze this time. As much as I enjoy his presence, I just want him to leave. I’m too anxious about Rafe watching us to be in the same room with him.
I open my book, planning to hide between its pages until Sin is gone, but what I see makes my heart stop. Scrawled in the margin of my paperback is a note that was not there when I last closed the book.
Go for a walk at 2pm.
My chest feels tight, like I can’t breathe properly. Did Sin really just jot this note in my book while I got him coffee? I peek at Rafe first to make sure he’s not looking at me, then I steal a glance at Sin.
As he sips the coffee I just gave him, he meets my gaze over the brim.
It’s all the verification I need.
My heart speeds up because I don’t know what this means. It can’t mean anything good. Whatever we’re doing here, it was a lot easier to ignore the magnitude of it when Sin was resisting. I don’t know what it means if he’s not now, all I know is it has to be bad.
I want him, I do. This isn’t a game to me; I’m not in it for the thrill of the chase or the “fun” of sneaking around. I legitimately want him, but I know I can’t have him unless Rafe says it’s okay. Sin and Rafe are clearly not on friendly ground right now, so it can’t be that. As much as I want the experiences, I don’t want Sin to be risking his ass to steal these moments with me.
And as big a dick as Rafe is being, I don’t want him hurt, either.
I have no idea what it all means, but I do know one thing: I will be going for a walk at 2pm, because wherever I live, whomever I sleep next to, I am now and will forever be Sin’s good girl.
I feel weird about leaving the house to go for a walk, mostly because it’s nothing I’ve done before. Rafe left two hours ago and Juanita is at the house cleaning, but I slipped out without telling anyone. I brought the book with me in my purse. On one hand, I can’t believe Sin vandalized my damn book. The bookworm in me is outraged. On the other, as much as I was enjoying all the words the author put on the page, having Sin’s words there makes it so much better. It’s my new favorite book now, just because it has Sin between the pages.
But on a less sentimental note, there’s the fact that he left a paper trail, and I’m reading that book while staying at Rafe’s house. I can’t imagine he would ever think to fan the pages of my books, looking for illicit notes, but now I can never leave the book lying around, just in case.
I get to the end of the driveway and look left, then right. I don’t know which way I’m supposed to go. I head to the right, toward Vince’s dad’s old house. It takes forever to get over there. Rafe’s house is in sort of a development, a cluster of expensive homes, but there is so much space between each one. It’s a nice walk, probably a safe walk. I imagine the future, pushing a stroller down this street with a babbling baby inside. Even if I might potentially be trapped in a loveless relationship with a mob boss while quietly yearning for his hired muscle, at least there’s a pretty big bright side. Thoughts of my little wiggle worm warm me all over and I place a hand on my belly.