“Just what I said,” he answers, without really answering anything at all.
I know he’s giving me a chance to come clean, but I don’t know for what. I don’t want to play these dark, twisted games today. My stomach can’t handle it.
“I just want everyone to be happy,” I murmur, not meeting his gaze.
Touching his fingers just beneath my chin, he lifts it so I have to look at him. “Not everyone can win, kitten. That’s not how games work.”
“I don’t want to play games,” I state, echoing the thoughts I was just having. “I just want to live a happy life with the people I care about.”
He sighs, his clenched jaw tightening, then he nods. Something like irritation flickers through his gaze, and it makes me worry all over again. Is he irritated because he knows what is coming, and he wanted me to tell him?
There aren’t really stakes for me in this situation, only the people I love. Even in the absolute worst scenario that could play out, if Rafe does know Sin is coming, if he is ready for him, if Rafe emerges the victor today instead of Sin, I won’t be harmed. Sin will be, but Rafe won’t hurt me. I don’t even think he’ll send me away. I think he would just lock me up in his room and wait for me to settle down. Nothing would really change. He wouldn’t kill me because I’m pregnant, and by the time the baby is here, he would be over it and we would already have a routine. A routine where I’m sad and he’s barely present, but a routine, nonetheless. I would be safe, despite what I let happen. I would be another one of Rafe’s many possessions, like this gigantic house or the pool full of glittering water outside.
I let Rafe leave.
As soon as he’s gone, I text Sin. Not a plea this time, just a simple, “I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” he sends back. “I know today is hard. I’m sorry.”
His unsolicited second text makes me tear up. It’s not like I can stop thinking about all this for a single second anyway, but every time he says something that verifies his plan is still on, it hurts. I want him to change his mind. I want my sadness to matter, I want my will to make a difference. Maybe it’s unreasonable. Maybe there’s more to the story that I don’t know about, and this really is the only way. I just wish I felt sure of that. I wish he had time to explain to me every facet of this situation, then maybe I could get on the same page. Maybe then I would see there is no alternative, and that for whatever reason, the future I want cannot happen.
There is no more time, though. Sin is surely busy setting up whatever he has planned, and he doesn’t need me in his head distracting him.
So, instead of dumping more of my feelings on him, I text back something that will make at least one of us feel a little better.
“It’s okay. I trust you.”
To my surprise and confusion, Rafe comes home. It’s dinnertime and I hope my confusion isn’t plain to see, but when Rafe strides through the archway connecting the foyer and the living area, my heart nearly drops out of my body.
I didn’t expect him to come home.
I set aside my book and rise from the couch, hesitantly following him into the kitchen where Juanita has already started preparing dinner. He must have let her know he was on his way. Nothing is cooking yet, she’s still chopping and washing vegetables, so I hadn’t realized she was in here making dinner. Since Rafe’s schedule is irregular, she usually waits to hear from him. I should have noticed that, but in a desperate attempt to get out of my own head, I thought I could immerse myself in a novel.
Since I’m not sure how to ask why he’s here, I go instead with, “How was your day?”
“Fine,” he returns with an easy smile. He peels off his jacket and drapes it over the back of his chair at the island, then starts to loosen his tie.
“Are you home for the rest of the night?” I ask.
“Yep, all yours tonight. We should go for a swim after dinner. It’s nice outside.”
Why is this day just like any other? This is The Bad Day. Something terrible was supposed to happen. Why didn’t it?
Oh, my God. What if it did? What if he handled it? What if I wasn’t being paranoid this morning and Rafe did know what was happening? I didn’t warn him, bad Laurel, but he handled it anyway and now he’s going to ignore it?
Filled with a sudden, claustrophobic need to hear from Sin, I excuse myself to the bathroom and claw my phone out of my pocket. My fingers shake as I open up the text message chain between us. I don’t even know what to say, I just need to know he’s all right.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
Then I wait. He has been responding pretty promptly, but after two minutes that feel like two hours, I want to throw up.
I text again. “Rafe just came home. He said he’s home for the night. Is everything okay?”
No response. I wait as long as I can without arousing Rafe’s suspicion, and he never texts me back. My heart stutters in my chest, dread filling every part of me. I’ve been so worried about protecting Rafe, I wasn’t worried enough about Sin. I expected that if he had a plan, it would work. I expected that if he planned to take down Rafe, he would.
What if I was wrong?
What if Sin tried and failed?