He cuts me a look to let me know he is not amused. Cassidy waves from the backseat and screams for me to make sure I hang her picture on my refrigerator.
“I will,” I call back. “Thank you again, it’s so pretty.”
She flashes me a smile, then goes back to her Kindle.
I take my purse and my pink pony picture, steal one last glance at Derek, then turn and head up my driveway.
I’m about halfway to my porch when I hear the door slam shut. I haven’t heard his truck drive away, so I am not surprised when I hear gravel crunching behind me, then, “Nikki, wait.”
I sigh, turning to face him. “What is it, Derek?”
He catches me around the back of the neck and pulls me right into a kiss. I’m caught off guard, not expecting him to kiss me where Cassidy could see. Hopefully because it’s unexpected, my heart leaps in my chest, like it’s trying to break out and get to his. Stupid heart, won’t you ever learn?
His hand tangles in my hair and he kisses me forever, but still somehow not long enough. When he pulls back, he keeps me close, his face lingering mere inches from mine. “Give me your damn phone n
umber.”
“I will not.”
“Why?”
Shaking my head slightly, I tell him honestly, “Because I can’t do this again, Derek. I can’t.”
“It’s not like it was last time,” he tells me. “Nothing is the same as it was then, Nikki.”
“Exactly. Nothing is the same as it was, and it didn’t even work then. Why would it work now?”
“Because I was a fucking idiot then, and I’m not an idiot now. I know more now than I knew back then. I’m not going to let you go again.”
“Until it gets hard,” I state. “Until you don’t want to deal with it anymore. Until something else is easier.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
My words appear to aggravate him. “That is not how it went down.”
“Yes, it is,” I say, pulling back. “That’s exactly how it went down. You didn’t ditch me because you didn’t care about me anymore, Derek. You didn’t pick Kayla because she was some great love affair. You did it because it was easier. Because settling with her was easier than fighting for me. Where is she, even? That was the number one thing I wanted to ask, and I haven’t been able to because you made me hang out with your daughter all day.”
Frowning at me, he says, “Seemed like you enjoyed hanging out with Cassie.”
“I did, but it’s incredibly convenient that hanging out with her all day meant you didn’t have to answer for anything.”
Nodding, he says, “Oh, you mean I made you have fun instead of dwelling on dumb shit we can’t change? Wow, what a bastard.”
Not appreciating his tone, I narrow my eyes at him. “Yes, you are.”
“Fine, I’m a bastard,” he says, shrugging indifferently. “I don’t care. I still want your number.”
“Yeah, well, you can’t always get what you want. Also, next time you fuck a random, use a condom. How have you not learned that by now?”
I go to turn away, but he grabs my arm, yanking me back. “You are not a fucking random.”
Glaring at his hand on my arm, I tell him, “Let me go.”
“No,” he says seriously, holding my gaze. “The only reason it took me six years to come after you is because I couldn’t find you, Nikki. Trust me, I’ve looked. You made yourself a fucking ghost.”
I can’t believe how dense he is. “Yes, Derek, so this couldn’t happen. I didn’t want you to chase after me once it was too late; I wanted you to stop me from leaving in the first place.”