“Hey, family,” Saint says gently, and I feel Madison relax in my arms. “Want me to sing?”
“Mmhmm, okay,” Madison says sleepily, the most relaxed I’ve seen her since her water broke.
Saint starts humming off a slow tune as Rebecca goes back between Madison’s legs.
“I would say you’ve got a couple more contractions before we’re going to start pushing.” She gently pats her knee. “I have two pediatricians and an obstetrician who are going to be coming into the room any minute.”
“Nate is the gatekeeper down there, just so you guys know.” Tillie chuckles, wincing every now and then.
I nod at her. “You okay there, Little Terror…”
“Ehhh, I’ll be fine. He will wait for the twins, I’m sure. I’m only two centimeters.”
Rebecca looks to Tillie. “Who is your midwife?”
“Jay Verbose.”
Rebecca nods. “He is very good. You’re in good hands.”
The door opens and everything turns up a notch. Madison is wailing in my arms as Rebecca is back between her legs with the light on. There are three more people down at that end of the bed, not including Roger, who is now fully suited up with gloves that reach his elbows.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Oh my God.
My brain starts short-circuiting when I realize I’m about to be a dad and what if something goes wrong? What if the second baby doesn’t turn around and something happens? Suddenly, these babies are becoming very real—minutes away from arriving into this fucked-up world with me as their father—fuck! I’m gonna be a dad. I—fuck!
“Hey—” Saint’s hand is on my chin, turning my face toward hers. “You’re going to do great, big brother. Let’s get your babies here safely.”
I search her gray eyes, and a wave of relief slowly washes over me just as I hear—“push!”
My grip tenses around Madison as Rebecca starts counting—“one, two, three, good girl!”
And then Madison exhales through a scream, her body turning slack in my arms.
I catch Rebecca’s eye. “Is this normal?”
“It is.” She nods, losing herself in what she’s doing while still managing to answer all of my pathetic questions. She points to Tillie and Tate. “Are you up to holding her legs?”
Tillie raises an eyebrow at her, but I growl before she can answer.
She straightens her shoulders, all sass gone. “Yes, I can.”
Rebecca, who didn’t even notice that she was about to get slapped by a Tillie one-liner, gestures to the spot in front of Saint. “Take her leg on that side, and you,” she points to Tate without looking, “take that one. The head is a centimeter away from crowning.”
“You hear that, baby?” I whisper into Madison’s ear, sweat rubbing onto my cheek. “We’re almost there. You did that. You’re doing this.”
Madison starts crying uncontrollably in a way I’ve never witnessed from her before. “I can’t do it. I can’t—”
“Yes, you can, baby. Yes, you can because you’re the strongest fucking person I know, you hear me? You tolerated me. You’ve got this—”
“I, Bishop, I almost killed myself. I did it—” she hiccups and my blood turns cold, but she doesn’t stop. Relentless with her pain and grief, she continues through her wailing. “I had the gun ready. I had it all ready, the bullet, the letters. Everything was ready. I was done, but then I remembered the date. My period was late—” She stops talking and screams so loud my ears bleed.
In that moment, my heart snaps in my chest. All of what we’re experiencing now is powerful enough to drown out her confession, but I almost lost her.
I almost lost my fucking world, all for what?
Tears sting the corners of my eyes as Saint reaches up and catches them from my cheek.
“I could have lost you…” I whisper, but no one can hear me because Madison is screaming and Rebecca is counting, and Tate is hollering for her to push, push, push! And Tillie has a wide smile on her face, joining Tate with her chants while simultaneously saying she’s doing amazing, and Saint?
Well, Saint is focused on me. Her comfort on my arm, her soft touch, her gentle reminders that I’m not a bad person—but none of that matters, because right now I’m about to become a dad.
“One big push, Madison!” Rebecca yells, and just like that, there’s a gasp, followed by excited cries.
“Congratulations, parents!” Rebecca says, quickly handing the little baby to Roger. I watch in amazement as my world expands.
“It’s not crying…” I whisper, but Rebecca is already back to Madison.
Roger calls out from behind her. “He’s okay, Bishop. I just need to squirt some saline into his nose.”
“Him?”
Rebecca smiles up at me. “Yes, congratulations on your little boy.” Then she looks back to Madison’s belly and presses on the sides. “Now let’s get this next little bundle out.”
“She’ll be stubborn like her mom…” I growl, kissing Madison’s head.
“Where’s my baby?” she murmurs as another contraction hits her and her back curls into me.