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“They’re not, that’s why. She’s his best friend and he swears that’s all they’ll ever be. He helps take care of Maggie because her dad is in and out of her life.”

“That’s too bad.”

“It is, but my parents love Maggie. She’s living the life right now. And if I’m not mistaken, she has a bedroom here.”

Kimberly watches everyone for a bit, including my mom, who is now in the pool playing with Maggie. “She wants grandchildren.”

“Don’t I know it.” I purposely look away from Kim, afraid of what her reaction might be. We’re not even a full month into dating, and I don’t want to scare her off with talk of kids. Besides, I’m nowhere near ready to be a dad. I can’t take care of myself, let alone be responsible for someone. Having Maggie around is enough for me. I can admire from afar, buy presents when it’s her birthday, and watch her leave with her mother. It’s a win-win for a guy such as myself.

Kim shifts slightly away from me and I don’t like it. I don’t want her to think children aren’t something I want. They are, just not now or in the next few months. Pulling her into my arms, I kiss her below her ear, nuzzling her there until she leans into me.

“Do you want to go swimming?”

“I didn’t bring my suit.”

“My mom has a whole shit-ton of swimsuits in the pool house. Designers send her so much crap it’s not even funny. Want to see if you can find one you like?”

She nods and reaches for my hand. “We’ll be right back,” I tell everyone as we make our way into the pool house to change.

Carson and Brayden catcall from the pool, yelling that they hope we don’t take too long. I flip them off, only for my mother to chastise me. She thinks Maggie never hears any bad words or sees anything that might damage her young mind, and as much as we try to protect her from our foul language, her father is no shining example.

Chapter 21

Kimberly

I’m exhausted, and it’s from a lack of sleep. It’s clear to me how and why Bodhi became hooked on coke. Coke keeps you awake, and in his life, being awake is almost demanded of you. I don’t know what I expected when I came up here, but this wasn’t it. Maybe I’m the romantic type, the rainbows-and-unicorns type. Or maybe I’m just blinded by the world I live in, which has structure and routine. Bodhi’s life is anything but.

Gabriela told me we’d leave to go shopping shortly after ten, and when the alarm on my phone went off a little before nine, I continued to hit snooze until I was at the point where I had to get up or cancel my plans with her. Canceling meant I wouldn’t be able to attend the awards show later because I wouldn’t have a dress, and I didn’t want to do that to Bodhi.

What shocked me the most is that as many times as my alarm went off, Bodhi slept through it. I know part of a cocaine addiction means you sleep less, but I would’ve thought he caught up on his sleep while staying at Serenity Springs. Even as I slipped out of bed, he didn’t budge. And as I watched him sleep, the thought of crawling back into bed with him was tempting. But tonight is important to him, and the last thing I want to do is let him down.

Coming down the wide and long staircase, I imagine what the house must look like when it’s decorated for Christmas. I can see garland with white lights and red bows wrapped around the banister to go along with the smell of freshly baked cookies and carols playing from the living room.

Even though Bodhi has given me the tour, I can find my way to only his room and back down to the kitchen and living room. We haven’t spent much time on the other side of the house, where there’s a library, a home theater, a gym, and his parents’ room. He did show me where Susan will live when she checks out of rehab. It’s a cute two-bedroom apartment attached to the house, and she’ll have access to the pool, along with her own private entrance. The apartment is in the process of getting a makeover in hopes that Susan’s children will be coming to visit.

Children…yesterday I was such a fool to bring up kids. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I could tell that Bodhi didn’t want to talk about the subject. I don’t blame him. I don’t particularly want to talk about it either, but it’s something I think about often. I had a stupid plan when I was in college that I’d be married and starting a family by twenty-five. I wanted to be a young mother, but that plan is quickly falling by the wayside. “Dirty thirty” is looming, and I’m in love with a musician who doesn’t seem ready to settle down.

When I reach the bottom step, I turn and take in the grand staircases. There are two, one on each side of the foyer, and I imagine myself walking down the steps in my wedding dress and meeting my dad here. It’s a fairy tale, I know, and one that I’ll keep to myself, at least until I tell Daphne how crazy I’m acting.

Gabriela calls my name, grabbing my attention. I blush, because her smile tells me she’s caught me daydreaming. Does she imagine it too, her son getting married in their home and the bride walking down the stairs? Their house is perfect for an intimate gathering, and I have no doubt it would be decorated beautifully.

“Are you ready?” she asks. Her Romanian accent is light but there. It couldn’t have been easy for her to come to the United States at such a young age and be thrust into the spotlight. She married Roger when they were both young, and by all accounts they’re extremely happy. It’s something to strive for.

“I am.”

I follow her out and into the waiting car. I half expect to see Natalie already inside, but she’s not.

“Isn’t Natalie coming?”

“She’ll meet us there,” she says as we climb in. Once the door shuts, Gabriela hands me a champagne glass of orange juice. “To our first women’s day.” We tap glasses and drink, and it’s only then that I find out it’s not just orange juice.

“Whoa, I wasn’t expecting that.” I smack my lips, enjoying the taste, and decide to finish it off. I’m not working, nor do I have to drive anywhere, so I might as well enjoy myself. Gabriela does the same, then makes us another round of mimosas.

Our car ride is short considering that the McKnights live only a few blocks from Rodeo Drive. We could’ve walked, but that’s probably out of the question for someone like Gabriela.

The driver lets her out first and the frenzy is almost instant. Someone yells her name, but she ignores them as she reaches for my hand. My foot touches the cobblestone street, and I climb out. I’m so surprised at how small Rodeo Drive truly is. In all the movies, it’s so much grander.

We walk into a store and find Natalie waiting for us. She meets us with another glass, but this time it’s only champagne. I fear by the time the event happens, I’ll be drunk and unable to support Bodhi in his first public appearance since leaving rehab.


Tags: Heidi McLaughlin Virtuous Paradox Romance