side these walls to see if what we have is real. That’s all I want—one chance to be someone that she can count on, since she’s been mine for the month. I want to be able to show her that I can take care of her and not be this stupid, ignorant, pompous ass who thinks the world is his for the taking.
I hesitate at Kimberly’s office door, praying she’s in there. I knock twice before opening the door. She has an open-door policy, and if she wasn’t working today, her door would be locked.
Except she’s not sitting at her desk when I step in. And she’s not waiting for me in the closet—I had to check, just in case. I knock on the door that leads to her apartment, and when she doesn’t answer, I try the knob. It doesn’t open. Not that I expected it to, but I’d hoped. I rack my brain, trying to come up with an idea of where she could be before I lose my shit and end up confined to a room with another needle in my arm.
I pull my hair in aggravation. I want to kick and destroy everything in sight, but I refrain. Today is my last day. I don’t need to give them an excuse to keep me.
The woods.
I walk briskly toward the exit that will lead to the woods where we made out. There are a few employees hanging around, so I can’t take off at a full sprint. The last thing I need is for someone to see me running and think I’m doing something I shouldn’t be. I need for my last day to be today, regardless.
When I get to the edge of the clearing and step onto the dirt path that will lead me to our spot, I look back over my shoulder to see if anyone is watching me or coming my way. Confident that I’m alone, I continue down the path, holding my breath with each step I take. She has to be here. I can’t leave Serenity Springs without saying goodbye. I step out into the clearing and find her sitting there.
“Kimberly,” I murmur, not sure what I’m supposed to do or say. I’ve never done this before. After a pause the words begin to spill out. “What Dr. Rosenberg said back there is wrong. It’s different for you and me. You already know my demons and everything about me. I have nothing to hide from you. Everything that I am, moving forward, is because you had faith in me, because you guided me to a place that I’d never been.”
“And what place is that, Bodhi?”
“Forgiveness, love, happiness. These are all things that I’ve never known existed until you showed them to me.”
I sit down beside her and mirror her posture, with my legs pulled to my chest. I look not at her but at the tiny fire I’m assuming she started in the pit.
“Before I came here I was lost. My family didn’t care what I was doing. I met the guys and I started seeing myself differently, but with that, fear set in. What if I got tossed out of the group and lost their friendship? What if they forgot me? I did everything I could to stay in that group because I felt like I finally had someone who saw me for me and didn’t care who my parents are or what kind of house I live in. I wanted acceptance, and they gave it to me.
“Then I started taking it all for granted. I was so stupid, not realizing what an opportunity I’d been given. Rebel should’ve kicked me out, but instead she sent the three of us home for a month. This became my home, and you became someone that I looked forward to seeing every day and counted on seeing in my dreams at night. You became a reason for me to do something better, to get better.”
“Relationships that start in places like this don’t survive out in the real world,” she says softly.
But I counter with, “That’s why we’re going to start this out in the real world. I know we live a couple of hours away from each other, but we can make this work. I want to have a relationship with you, and I hope you feel the same.”
“We both have demanding jobs,” she says. “And your job has rabid fans!”
“Rabid?” I question, finally looking at her.
“Yes, they’re crazy. I’ve seen them—well, photos of them—and I’ve seen how they act when you guys are around. If you had a girlfriend, they would revolt.”
“You’re a fan,” I say, reminding her with a wink. She blushes and hides her face. I gently pull her hands away and hold them in mine, but her eyes remain downcast.
“So what if they’re rabid, crazy, and somewhat off-kilter?” I ask, shrugging. “If they knew how much I cared about her, how much I want to spend my time with her, and how I’m falling in love with her more and more with each passing day, they’d love her just as much as I do.”
Those words cause Kim to look at me. There are unshed tears in her eyes that cause my heart to break. “You’re falling in love with me?”
I nod. “I am, and I like how I feel, especially when I’m with you. I know we don’t know each other that well, but…the feeling I have when I’m with you is amazing. I don’t even know the words to describe what it’s like, but if I had to, I’d say my heart is having a fucking party every time you’re near, and when you’re not, well, every part of me just aches.”
Her tears fall, which causes me to well up too. “Don’t cry.” I cup her cheek with my hand, pulling her into my arms.
“I’m falling for you too, and that’s why this hurts so much—you’re leaving and I won’t see you anymore.”
I kiss her below her ear and nuzzle her neck. “I am leaving, but think of all the privacy we can have when you come to my place, even though I’ll be living with my parents. Their house is massive and they’re hardly ever home. We don’t have to hide in the closet, unless you want to, and we don’t have to sneak out into the woods to talk and kiss.” I leave a long lingering kiss on her neck. “I know you’re busy and we have a lot to learn about each other, but that’s what the weekends are for, and I can come down and see you after work. Take you to dinner, maybe even a movie.”
“That sounds nice.”
“Say you’ll come see me this weekend, that you’ll come to Los Angeles and meet my friends. Tell me you’ll come to Beverly Hills to meet my parents.”
“I know your parents.”
“Not as my girlfriend you don’t, and that’s how I want to introduce you.”
Kimberly pulls back a bit and looks me in the eyes. I love that her blue eyes match mine. “Your girlfriend?”