Harrison and I stand close enough to be able to touch, both of us looking at each other. No words are exchanged, but I do smile and am rewarded with one of the most brilliant smiles I have ever seen. One that if I’m not careful, I could get lost in for days.
“Mommy.”
Harrison’s head snaps up before I can turn around. Peyton stands on the patio, with her hands on her hips. From the position of the sun, I can’t see what her expression is, but I can only imagine that she’s not happy.
“Hi baby.”
“I’m not a baby.”
I sigh. Harrison rests his hand on my back and his thumb rubs small circles there. I’m surprised to find that it calms me. “I’m sorry, Peyton.”
“I’m hungry.”
“It is dinner time,” Harrison says quietly. I nod, acknowledging that our little interaction is over. “What do you say we all go out to eat? I just have this small bit to finish. Five minutes tops.”
“Are you sure?” I ask, turning slightly.
“Of course, let me finish and I can meet you someplace after I pick up Quinn.”
I look back at Peyton who stands defiantly. Maybe it’s not me that needs a man in my life, but her. Harrison’s very good with Elle maybe he can break down Peyton’s wall.
“Okay.” I take a last look at Harrison and walk toward Peyton. She doesn’t look at me when I get to her. I kneel down and move her hair out of her face. She turns away. Every time she does this it breaks my heart.
“We’re going to go out to dinner with Harrison and Quinn.”
“I don’t want to.”
I close my eyes. Tough love, that’s what she needs.
“Okay, well I think Jenna is home, so I’ll call and see if she can babysit.”
I get up and walk away, leaving her outside. I’m not going to cave to her attitude. If she wants to ruin her night, she can. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before seeking out Elle. I know she’ll be excited to go.
“What are you doing?” Elle asks, almost laughing.
“I’m trying to calm down.” I open my eyes to find my mini-me with her eyes closed. “What are you doing?”
“The same.”
“Why, what’s wrong?”
“I’m hungry.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Would you like to go out to dinner with Harrison and Quinn?”
Her eyes flash open with excitement and my heart breaks because I so want Peyton to look at me like this. “Yes!”
“Okay, go change.” I wait a few heartbeats before turning around and looking out the sliding door. Harrison and Peyton are talking, and for the first time since we’ve returned from Disney, she’s smiling. And even though I can’t tell him, he’s just chipped away a little more at my heart.
It may be a year since we lost the man we all love, but if I can give my girls’ one moment to smile today, does it matter that the man making them smile is causing ripples in my heart?
I flick on the lights in the room that houses 4225 West. Liam struck the jackpot with this house. The basement, which is now the studio, is completely decked out and soundproof. I’m not sure how much longer we’ll be able to call this home. I can’t imagine Josie wants to continue to have us here, especially late at night when she’s trying to sleep. Even though she can’t hear us jamming, I’m sure she wants her house to herself.
It’s been a month since we’ve worked on anything. We all needed a break after the tour mishaps. But work has to be done. We have songs that need to be written and recorded. We have a CD to release, with or without a tour. We can’t let our fans down. That already happened when we had to cancel the rest of the tour. No more. 4225 West refuses to let this shit bring us down. I’m excited to be in the studio; to hold the wood of my drumsticks between my fingers; to pound out my aggressions and create magic. JD and Tyler will be here at any moment to get things moving again, but I’m not so sure about Katelyn.
I stop in front of Katelyn’s office and look into the dark room. We didn’t discuss business the other night at dinner two weeks ago. Believe me, it was the last thing on my mind when she was sitting across from me. I was thinking more of how I could get my hands on her. I was imagining all the places that I wanted to kiss her. I wish I could say that I’ve seen her every night since, but I can’t. When I go over to mow her lawn, she’s not home. I’ve deduced that dinner was just a thank you, and not the fucking breakthrough I’ve been waiting for. It’s going to happen. That’s my mantra each morning in the shower. Say it one hundred times and it’s true, according to Quinn.
What does Quinn know?