“Um, he lives in a camper kind of.”
“Kind of?” I made a face at her. “So, he is a carnie?”
She moved like she was going to leave. I pulled her shoulders back playfully as much as I could manage without bursting my spleen. “I’m teasing you. Relax. Tell me more.”
As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I break into a quick version of Summer Nights from Grease because I can’t help myself. Em knows this about me and has learned to love it.
She lets a small smile play on her lips when I finish. “He’s like…the kind of guy that runs to get pizza for a party he isn’t even at so that no one drinks and drives. We went to a convenient store and he got me a bag full of ketchup and condiments so I could paint on the sidewalk. He stayed with me last night, here. Then he held me all night while I fell apart and he never even made a move. Actually, I made most of the moves.”
She might not know it yet, but I can see it in the way her eyes light up. I can hear it in her voice. The awe, the adoration. She’s falling for this guy, whoever he is.
After what happened, a part of my soul is deeply bruised and in danger of turning black. That part wants to tell her it’s best to stay away from this guy before he breaks her tiny little tiger heart. Or worse.
But I won’t let someone else’s behavior change my tiny tiger heart, dammit. So, I tell her the truth.
“Even if it’s just a fling, Em, it sounds like you had a really amazing time. Minus the hospital part. And if I were you, I’d tell him that. Don’t hide behind me or Ethan or your mom or your hectic life. If he’s the kind of man you say he is, tell him the truth. That you have a lot going on. That you’re almost eighteen, and that he makes you feel alive. If he cares about you, which it sounds like he does an awful lot for someone you just met, he’ll understand.”
“I can’t stop thinking about him,” she admitted. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing. But when I’m with him, it’s like everything else just—”
“Floats away? Doesn’t matter as much? Isn’t so terrible after all?”
She nodded. “Yeah. All of that.”
“So, tell him. Go. Tell him now. Trust me, you’ll regret it if you don’t.”
After I convince Em to go, a new night shift nurse comes in to take my vitals. Of course, she flips the high beams on to do it.
“Was that your girlfriend that just left?” she asked while strapping the blood pressure cuff to my arm. “She’s beautiful.”
“Yeah, she is,” I said, responding to the second part of her comment and not the actual question.
Emersyn has always been beautiful, inside and out. I remembered of the first day I saw her, in middle school when I hated this town and everyone in it.
My dad was in the Marine Corps and we moved a lot. In all the schools I’d been to, I’d never seen someone so attractive be an outcast. She was new, too, it turned out, having moved here just a few weeks before me and eventually, Emersyn from Texas and Drew from everywhere became best friends.
I loved her and she loved me back. So, we let people at school think we were more than friends because it kept my secret safe. Judging from where I am, it obviously didn’t keep me too safe.
Listening to the machines beeping, I realized this hasn’t been fair to Emersyn. She deserved to have a life and not be saddled with a pretend boyfriend who only wanted her for her mind. Her mom had already caused her to miss out on enough teenage rites of passage. I wouldn’t ask her to miss out on anymore because of me.
When school starts, I’m going to tell her we need to stage a breakup so guys will start asking her out.
I close my eyes and silently ask the universe to make whoever this guy she’s going to see a really, really good one.
10
Aiden
-SUNDAY NIGHT-
I told myself I was sleeping in the Airstream because the bonfire Axel and his buddies were having was closer to the house and might keep me awake. I had class and rink time early in the morning.
It was a bullshit lie and I knew it. The smoke was actually worse out here.
I was in the Airstream because the sheets smelled like her. Because I needed some kind of proof that last night had been real—the parts before all hell broke loose.
She hadn’t texted. No updates on how her friend Drew was doing or how she’d gotten home that afternoon.
Girls did not behave the way she did. Usually they blew my phone up until I considered changing my number. Especially after they knew what I could do with my mouth.