I quickly shake my head. “Not right now, sweetie.” She starts to balk, but I don’t pay attention to the impending fit. I unbutton the back of her dress and usher her off to her room to change into her sweats before doing the same thing.
One look at my bed pulls me up short. This morning, we left bed in such a hurry that neither of us pulled the covers back into place, and I didn’t make it after he left. Usually only one side is a mess, but now it’s the whole bed, the corners untucked and pillows strewn everywhere. Visions of last night run through my mind. My flesh warms as I remember his hands kneading my skin as desire built between us.
I change quickly and grab my pillow and quilt, determined not to sleep in there tonight. I have a feeling a night of Lifetime movies are in my future once Lucy is asleep. It won’t be the first time I spent a night like this feeling sorry for myself.
Lucy is waiting for me in the living room, dressed in her Rudolph pajamas with matching slippers. The sight of her makes me smile even if my heart is breaking.
With cups of hot coca, complete with marshmallows, in our hands, we snuggle together through a marathon of holiday movies. Lucy has seen some of them so many times that she knows all the words and recites them as the characters do. Only when I can hear just the voices from the television do I realize that she’s fallen asleep. It would be so easy to keep her in my arms, but the truth is that I want to be alone. I want to shed tears and not have her wake and ask me what’s wrong. I half expected Travis to call or stop by, and the fact that he hasn’t has me feeling like he’s used me, but I know I shouldn’t feel that way.
After tucking Lucy in, I snuggle under my blanket and get lost in the world of cheesy holiday drama. Each story is the same, second chances at love, and here I sit, hoping for a chance. I thought I had found my forever when I met Elijah. He was paving my way to happiness. I was utterly destroyed when he left me, and I vowed to never let it happen again.
It wasn’t supposed to happen, but somehow Travis relentlessly whittled away piece after piece of my resolve. And when I finally opened the door and let him in, he slammed his shut. It seems that I should probably forgo any attempt at falling in love. It’s better that way.
The faint sound of my cell phone ringing has me scrambling off the couch and to my purse, dumping its contents onto the floor. My heart races as I’m on my hands and knees, searching through God-knows-what until I pick up the cold metal object. I close my eyes, not even looking at the caller identification, knowing it’s Travis calling to apologize.
“Hi, Travis,” I say breathlessly.
“Ahem.” The throat on the other end clears. “Saylor, it’s Elijah. Should I assume that Travis is the man you are representing who is accused of rape?”
Everything in me turns cold as I clutch my phone to my ear. I swallow hard and prepare to save face as much as I can, because the man on the other end can easily ruin the rest of my life.
* * *
“Merry Christmas Eve,” Lucy yells as she comes runnin
g out of her room. I take a big sip of my coffee and close my eyes. My finger presses into my temple as I try to push away my headache.
Last night I had every intention of throwing myself a pity party because of Travis, but instead I paced the floor, taking breaks only to write down everything that I remembered about my relationship with Elijah after we broke up. I had a sinking feeling that I was going to need that list.
He called to tell me that he’s back in town and that his wife and their two perfect children are with him, and they’re here to meet Lucy. I tried to explain that it’s Christmas and that we could set something up for afterward, but my pleas fell on deaf ears. He doesn’t seem to care that his family is holed up in a hotel during the holiday.
“What time do you think Santa will be here?”
“After you’re fast asleep. He won’t come if you’re still awake.” I pull a bowl down from the cabinet, adding some cereal and milk to it. She looks at me and frowns. “What’s wrong?” I ask her.
“I want pancakes.”
I shake my head. “We don’t have the stuff to make them. I’ll go to the store later.”
“Order them like Travis does.” She puts her hands up in the air, as if ordering takeout is the solution for everything.
“I can’t, Lucy.”
“Why not? Travis does.”
“Well, Travis isn’t here. Now eat, because there is someone coming over to meet you.” I leave her in the kitchen and retreat to my bedroom, where behind my closed door I let the tears fall. I was stupid enough to have a glimmer of hope in thinking that Travis was going to be my knight in shining armor and that he’d come in and save me from everything, including the Big Bad Wolf that is Elijah, but I was wrong. He was only here to save himself, and when he realized that I wouldn’t be the one to do it, he bailed. He has to know that, even after the other day, I won’t tell Irvin that I saw him at the bar.
The doorbell chimes, and I angrily wipe away my tears before going back to the living room.
“Are you done?” I ask Lucy as I head toward the door. She nods and gets down from her chair. “Head to your room and get dressed, please. And don’t come out until I come to get you.”
“But I want to see Travis,” she says through gritted teeth.
“Lucy…” I pinch the bridge of my nose in hopes of calming my temper. “It’s not Travis. Please go to your room.”
Lucy crosses her arms and huffs before stomping all the way down the hall. I jump when she slams the door. “I feel your pain,” I mutter to my empty living room.
Elijah presses the doorbell again and does so repeatedly. I contemplate leaving him there but know he won’t go away anytime soon. I open the door in a huff and glare at him. “I heard you the first time. You don’t need to keep pressing the bell like a petulant child.”