“Until what is over?” Dax asked, anger in his voice once more.
“The shit with LePlatt.”
“Good. Because this”—he gestured between the two of us—“is never going to be over.”
“Dax, you don’t have to make promises like—”
“How long have you thought I could be the one for you?”
My face heated as I thought about it. I’d admitted to having a crush on him, but I didn’t want to tell him the truth. I didn’t want to tell him how young I’d been when I’d already started to feel that way about him, to wish, to hope. “Since I was eleven.”
Dax smiled. “By then, I considered you my friend. I didn’t understand why Ambrose and Beau were so insistent that you not tag along. I enjoyed you being there. I enjoyed your company, even though you were so much younger than me.”
“So when did you…”
“I thought about you often. When Beau told me what happened with Rob, I was angry, and I felt this weird jealousy. It didn’t make sense to me, but then you came back into my life. The moment I saw you in the woods and realized who you were, it was like a switch came on. All that concern and brotherly affection I’d felt for you changed in that instant.”
“How can you be so sure when it’s only been a few days?”
21
Dax
“Has it really, though, or have we always been meant to be?”
Travis smiled. “Do you really believe that?”
Did I? “Yes. I sound crazy, don’t I?”
“Not to me.”
“I don’t really talk about feelings. This is all so fucking new, but I know what I feel. I know that you’re mine, and I know I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, but you have got to listen to me. You’ve got to do what I say.”
Travis studied me for a moment. “Do you really expect me to listen to you all the time?”
“Fuck yes. I already told you I like to be in charge.”
“And what happens if I disobey?”
My cock jumped at the thought. “Jesus, Travis, don’t even go there.”
“What would you do? Are you going to punish me?”
“Is that what you want?”
“Maybe.”
I would love to punish him, but I wanted him to enjoy it as much as I did. “I’ll give you what you want, what you need, but you don’t have to change anything about yourself for me to care. You please me because you’re you.”
Travis sucked in his breath, and I wished to God I wasn’t driving. I wanted to be able to look at him. I reached for his hand and tangled our fingers together. “Let’s wait till we get to my house to talk anymore.”
“I don’t… I don’t know if I’m ready for this…”
“For someone to care about you? For someone to be kind to you?”
Travis blew out a long breath. “All that.”
“It’s not easy. You have to trust a whole lot to let someone care for you and protect you.”
“It’s not you. It’s that I don’t trust myself. Shit. You said not to talk more now.”
I squeezed his hand. “It’s fine. Say what you need to say. I just wish I could see you and hold you.”
“If you were looking at me, I…” Travis cleared his throat before continuing. “I don’t think I could say any of this.”
“Then talk.”
“I thought Rob was going to give me what I wanted. I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought I wanted to be pampered and taken care of. I thought I wanted somebody to do my bidding. I was so tired of being ordered around by Beau and told that I was too young for whatever I wanted to do. I thought having money and power would fix everything. I was really fucking wrong.”
I wasn’t sure I’d ever hated anyone as much as I hated Rob. “With the right person, money and power can do a hell of a lot.”
He laughed. “You’ve made that very clear.”
“You can trust me. I’m not a good man, but I won’t hurt you.”
“Dax, I don’t think you’re like him. You didn’t even choose your position in the family business. You were born to it.”
“I can’t say I wouldn’t have ended up doing wet work anyway. I told you. I’m a natural.” We’d reached my house now. Travis didn’t say anything else as I pulled into the driveway.
But once we were inside, he spoke so softly I barely heard him. “How did you find out you were skilled in… um… torture?”
There were so many other things I’d rather talk about. There were plans we needed to make. I needed to check in with Ambrose, but I walked Travis over to the couch, then slid to the floor, kneeling in front of him and holding his hands. “I’ve never told anyone outside the family this, but I consider you family now, and I’m going to tell you. If you change your mind about me afterward, I’ll understand.”