He’d always known that Rose would be leaving for London, and that she was planning to be back again at some point but didn’t know when. They’d carefully avoided discussing the details, but it went without saying that their reunion would be both tender and spiced with the passion of having been apart. And just as temporary as Rose’s current stay in Sicily.
But now that she was almost packed, and leaving had become a reality, he couldn’t just pretend it wasn’t going to happen. He didn’t want a reunion. He didn’t want a parting. Matteo still didn’t quite believe what Rose had said to him that night after William had been stung, but he was a desperate man and willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.
He took her up to the hot spring,
and they swam together. The long, sensual foreplay of sun and water on naked skin, which they’d made last for hours before now, this time seemed a little rushed. It was all beginning to lose its magic.
‘I will miss you, Matteo.’ It was exactly what he wanted her to say. And she said it again that evening, as they ate together on the patio, lanterns swinging in the breeze from the sea.
‘I’ll miss you too.’ He took a mouthful of wine, savouring the taste while the alcohol did its job and silenced some of the voices in the back of his head that said this was insanity. ‘Rose, you know that we don’t have to do this.’
Her fork clattered onto her plate. ‘But I have to go home.’
They’d planned it all out. And it seemed that this plan was etched in stone.
‘I know you do.’ He took another sip of wine. ‘But that’s not what I’m saying.’
She looked as if she had something stuck in her throat, and Matteo wondered whether he was going to have to get up and clap her firmly on the back. A sip of her wine seemed to do the trick, though.
‘What exactly are you saying, Matteo?’
‘I’m saying that I don’t want us to end here. Or like this. I’m not going to make love to you, knowing it may be the last time. I can’t.’
She’d gone as white as a sheet. That pale, beautiful skin that never seemed touched by the sun. ‘But... I’ll be back.’
‘I know that. And we’ll start all over again and then we’ll finish all over again. I don’t want that.’
‘We said no strings, Matteo. You can’t change the rules on me now.’
She’d broken the rules just as much as he had. She’d made love to him as if she’d meant it. She had meant it, but Rose wouldn’t face it. ‘They’re our rules and we can change them.’
‘But...do you even have a plan?’
‘No, Rose. I don’t need a plan for everything I do...’
Suddenly she was on her feet, turning away from him, walking away from him. And Matteo couldn’t bear it.
‘Don’t do that.’ He sprang to his feet, his chair falling backwards with a clatter. Marched over to where she was standing, leaning on the balustrade, looking out to sea. ‘Don’t walk away from me.’
‘What do you expect, Matteo?’ She turned to face him, fire in her eyes—that passion that never failed to heat his blood to boiling point. ‘What happens if it doesn’t work? If I mess up, or you mess up, or even if we both mess up. You already know what happens when a relationship breaks up and there are kids involved.’
He was losing her. ‘Yes, I know. And I’m willing to face that risk, because I want something more.’ One last challenge. One that she surely couldn’t fail to meet. ‘Are you just too frightened to even try?’
For a moment he thought she was going to kiss him. It was the way they’d learned to do things, to say what was on their minds and then finish it with a kiss. She was so close that he could feel her breath on his cheek.
‘Yes. I’m too frightened to try. And you should be too.’
He felt in his pocket, curling his fingers around the ring, the one that he had thought he’d give her tonight as a sign that he was serious about this. He could do this. Go down on one knee in front of her and calm all her fears.
It wouldn’t calm his fears, though. The shapeless dread that she was right, and that this really wasn’t meant to be. He took his hand back out of his pocket, leaving the ring where it was.
She was looking up at him, obviously trying to determine what he was thinking. Suddenly, she broke away from him, picked up her bag and headed for the front door.
‘I won’t watch you go, Rose.’ It was an impossible dilemma. He could trust himself enough to make her stay but he couldn’t let her go either.
‘Then turn your back.’ She turned, jutted her chin at him stubbornly.
‘Don’t be crazy...’ He spread his arms in disbelief. She was bluffing. She had to be bluffing.