They walked down the gangplank onto a red and white painted barge, which had been fitted out with bench seats and tables. The evening sun sparkled on the water, and they sat under the shade of a canvas awning.
Matt was the perfect host, making sure that they both had whatever they wanted. The waiters were attentive and friendly, bringing a glass of wine for Hannah and sparkling water for Matt and Sam. Sam responded to being treated like an adult by acting like one, and her little boy suddenly seemed very grown up.
‘Mum, look. Swans...’ Sam knelt on his seat, hanging over the side of the boat, and Hannah grabbed hold of him before he fell overboard. He twisted round, taking a bread roll from the basket on the table.
‘No, we mustn’t give them bread, Sam. It’s not what they’re meant to eat, and it isn’t good for them.’
Sam slid back into his seat and Matt pushed his plate towards him. ‘You can give them some lettuce.’ He started to separate the shredded lettuce from his mixed salad with his fork.
‘Lettuce?’ Hannah raised her eyebrows. ‘Really?’
‘Yes, swans like lettuce, and it doesn’t do them any harm. A bit like pondweed, I suppose.’
Sam picked up the lettuce, and Hannah grabbed hold of him again as he climbed up, leaning over the side of the boat. When he scattered the lettuce on the water, the swans dipped their long necks, gobbling it up.
‘They’re making a funny noise...’ Sam shivered with laughter, and Hannah saw Matt gesture to one of the waiters. He disappeared, coming back with a small bowl of
shredded lettuce. Matt was grinning broadly, enjoying this as much as Sam was.
This was so relaxing. So nice. Taking the world as it came, on a lazy river, as the sun began to go down. If she’d been with Sam’s father...
There wouldn’t have been times like these. Sam was John’s son, but Matt was the one who had time for him. And whatever she’d seen in John felt like a pale counterfeit of the way she was beginning to feel about Matt. She knew that Sam would benefit from having a father figure in his life, but this was the first time she’d wanted someone for herself in a very long time.
They lingered over coffee, talking. The lights that were threaded around the canvas awning began to brighten in the gathering dusk, and Matt signalled to the waiter to bring the bill.
‘Thank you so much for tonight, Matt.’ Hannah turned to him as they stepped off the gangplank and onto the path that led up to the car. ‘It was just what I needed after today.’
‘Me too. Thank you for coming.’ He reached out suddenly, brushing her arm with his fingertips. The world around her began to melt away, shrivelling in the heat of his gaze, as somehow the impossible didn’t seem quite so impossible after all. Unspoken words hung in the air between them, waiting impatiently for the chance to be turned into reality.
Then, from somewhere behind her, Hannah heard Sam’s thin wail of distress. He’d found his way down to the water’s edge, and one of the swans that he’d been feeding had left the water and was waddling towards him. Sam was standing quite still, transfixed by the lumbering creature that was more than twice his size.
Before she could move, Matt was there. He gathered Sam up in his arms, shooing the swan away from him. When he turned back towards Hannah, his jaw was set hard in a mask of distress.
‘Hey, little man. You’re all right...’ He was trying to smile for Sam’s sake, and not making a very good job of it. Sam was crying now, and the agony on Matt’s face as he strode back to where Hannah was standing was obvious.
They’d been close by, and Hannah had only taken her eyes off Sam for one moment. That moment had been enough, though, and the unforgivable part of it all was that Hannah’s eyes had been on Matt. All of her attention had been on Matt, and she’d let Sam wander off.
She swallowed hard, trying to control her panic. This wasn’t the same as leaving her family and following John halfway around the world. She hadn’t abandoned Sam in favour of Matt. All the same, when Matt delivered Sam into her arms, she hugged her son as tightly as she could.
‘Mum... Mum, you’re squeezing me.’ Sam’s tears had disappeared as abruptly as they’d appeared, and he was wiping his nose on the shoulder of her best dress. Still holding onto her son, Hannah managed to swipe her own tears away before either Matt or Sam could notice them.
‘I’m sorry, sweetie. The swans are pretty big close up, aren’t they?’
Sam nodded. ‘I think it might have eaten me. But it didn’t.’
‘No, of course it didn’t. Swans don’t eat little boys, they eat lettuce. We just have to make sure that we stay away from them when they get out of the water. If they get frightened and flap their wings, they could hurt us.’ Hannah managed a smile and Sam cheered up immediately, eyeing the swan as it drifted serenely at the water’s edge.
‘How big are they when they flap their wings?’ Now that he was safe in her arms, he was clearly thinking about the logistics of the matter. ‘Not as big as Matt.’
‘No, not as big as Matt.’
‘That’s all right, then.’ Sam had assessed the situation with a child’s logic, and decided that Matt’s presence made everything all right. It was a very tempting conclusion to make, and Hannah resisted it.
Sam’s assertion didn’t seem to be convincing Matt either. He still seemed distressed about the incident. But he smiled, taking his car keys from his pocket.
‘Would you like to try out the computer in my car?’ He’d obviously seen Sam’s interest in the dashboard, and seemed to be trying his best to make things up to Sam. The little boy slithered down from her arms, running to Matt.
‘Yes!’