Maybe the result of a greater wound, which had been inflicted when Emma died. Mostly Ben could live with the ache, but at times like these it seemed to be draining the life blood from him. He’d tried to help Jem, because protecting his patients had become second nature to him. But he couldn’t even protect the people he loved. Certainly not Emma, and now he’d taken the risk that Jonas might lose the only parent he had left, because instinct had told him that he must prevent Jem from getting anywhere near Arianna.
It was a conundrum. One that could only be solved by letting Arianna go, but that seemed impossible right now. One more wound that might never heal.
The next day was Saturday, and Arianna spent it with him at the hotel, looking after all four of the children while Lizzie and James went out sightseeing together. When there were no demands from the kids to animate her, she too seemed thoughtful and quiet.
‘You’re staying here tonight?’ Arianna asked after they’d put the children to bed and Lizzie and James had returned to watch them.
‘I could...’ Perhaps she
wanted to spend the night alone, to think about whatever was bugging her. Tonight suddenly seemed an impossibly long time and he drew her close, hugging her.
‘Or you could come back to my place?’ She turned her gaze up to meet his, and Ben could feel the echoes of the nights they’d spent together shivering through him, driving away all of the doubts and what-ifs.
‘I’d really like that...’
* * *
As soon as her front door closed behind them, she kissed him. As if she was intent on driving away the silences of the day, submerging them in the chemistry that never failed them when they were alone.
‘Come and lie down...’ She’d been tending to him all day, making sure he didn’t overdo things, but this was clearly quite a different request.
She led him into the bedroom, unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it from his shoulders. Ben let her do it, allowing these moments to blot out the past and the future, everything other than Arianna. She undressed him slowly, carefully, piling pillows so that he could recline on the bed.
‘I can be very gentle with you.’ Her fingers grazed the top button of her dress, the gesture unbearably erotic. Ben grinned.
‘I’d prefer it if you left out the very. Maybe we could just take a little break to mop up if I start to bleed all over the carpet, eh?’
She smiled, slowly unbuttoning her dress. Stopping for one agonising minute before she let it fall to the floor at her feet.
‘You’ve been wearing that underwear all day, and you never told me?’ Ben shot her a reproachful look. Arianna’s underwear was a constant fascination to him. Practical but pretty, and very sexy.
‘I didn’t want to give you ideas you couldn’t follow through on...’ Her wicked smile was the only thing that mattered to Ben right now.
‘I can follow through. Don’t you worry about that.’
She nodded, her gaze sweeping his body. It must be pretty obvious to her that he had every intention of following through, and then some. Climbing onto the bed, she kissed him lightly on the lips.
‘You’ll hardly feel a thing...’
He pulled her down, kissing her. Letting her feel how much he wanted her right now.
‘Too late, honey. I’m already feeling something...’
* * *
Last night had been amazing. As if they’d both been trying to push back the future that they both knew was coming. Ben had driven every other thought from her head, and she knew that he was one hundred per cent there and with her.
But time was trickling through her fingers. England wasn’t so very far away—Arianna’s father had been known to fly to London for a meeting or a party and be back home within the space of twenty-four hours. That wasn’t the issue. The problem was whether she and Ben could reach a place where they felt able to carry on their relationship, and there was so little time before he was due to leave.
She’d thought that maybe one more night, a few hours when passion drove every other thought from their heads, might allow them to gain a little perspective. But she’d woken that morning to find herself alone.
Arianna got out of bed, putting on her light cotton dressing gown. Ben was outside on the veranda, sitting staring out to sea.
‘How are you doing?’ She nodded towards the dressing on his side, which was visible above the waistband of his jeans.
‘Fine. No problem...’
Right. That was the least of her worries settled. Arianna sat down next to him. He didn’t move to pull her close, the way he usually did, and suddenly she felt very alone.