‘What pulled you down?’
‘It was Xander. His face was all puffy, as if he’d been in the water for days.’ She looked up at him, her face silhouetted against the pillow. ‘Why would I dream that, Ben? Xander was my brother, and he wouldn’t do anything like that to me. He loved me...’
‘You’re the one best able to make sense of your own dreams. But maybe it’s your own memories of what happened to your brother on that day that are pulling you down.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘It’s just that...you told me that you felt guilty about your brother’s death.’ Ben ventured the thought as gently as he could.
He felt her whole body stiffen against his, a sure sign that he was getting close to an awful truth that she didn’t want to recognise. ‘Guilt wouldn’t be logical. I was only six years old.’
She felt it, though. He could hear it in her voice. ‘Kids have a habit of feeling that the world revolves around them. That they can control things that even adults can’t.’
He felt her sigh. Maybe she was in the same world that he was at the moment—two kids in the water, trying to swim to safety. Holding onto each other as tight as they could.
‘If you get the dream again, could you tell yourself what you’ve just told me? That you were six years old, and it wasn’t your fault.’
‘I don’t know. I could try...’ She snuggled against him, slipping her hand into his, and Ben held her close. That same fire, the determination to change her world, was licking around him. He hadn’t lost it for good.
‘Close your eyes. I’ll be here.’ That was all she needed to know. He couldn’t be here for ever; he had to go home in less than three weeks. Ben hoped that would be enough for both of them.
* * *
Arianna had suggested they drive down to the harbour, so that Ben and Jonas could take a look around. She knew everyone and Jonas was made a particular fuss of, being invited to taste slices of succulent fruit and small, sweet baked delicacies in the shops they visited. Ben’s presence on Kantos yesterday had already spread to Ilaria and he recognised the Greek word for doctor when Arianna introduced him to people. Clearly she wasn’t about to tell anyone that they’d met on the ferry, and that was fine by Ben. It had been their secret for so long now that it seemed only right it should remain so a little longer.
They dined at the taverna, their table moving steadily across the floor as people that Arianna knew arrived with their families and friends, and tables were pushed together. By the time the meal had been finished, two hours later, they were sitting with twenty other people, and those who could speak English were vying to translate the jokes that flew across the table for Ben.
When they left, obviously a little early by local standards as there were still children of Jonas’s age sitting at the table, Arianna worked her way around the table, saying her goodbyes. Ben was required to do the same, and Jonas followed suit as well. Then they took the coast road, driving around the island to their hotel, bright stars above their heads, the moon reflecting in the dark sea to one side.
‘Thank you. We’ve had a great day.’
Jonas had fallen asleep in the car, and Ben carried him in his arms to the entrance. The foyer was still bustling with activity and even a friendly kiss goodnight seemed too much. It might have started out as something brushed onto her cheek, but the temptation of her lips was far too great.
‘Thank you, Ben. For everything.’ Arianna deposited a kiss on the ends
of her fingers and pressed it to Jonas’s sleeping brow. It was the perfect way out of the dilemma, and accompanied by a flash of fire in her warm eyes.
‘You’ll be all right? Tonight...?’ Suddenly he couldn’t bear to leave her, alone in the darkness, prey to all the terrors that the night brought her.
‘I’ll be fine.’ Arianna said the words a little too quickly, and Ben guessed they were her stock response to any enquiry about her own well-being. ‘I sleep on my own every night.’
But tonight... Ben discarded the thought. His role in her life was already a complex mixture of checks and balances. Talking with her and sharing his own feelings, and listening to hers. Being there for her, but not getting so close that his protectiveness became challenging.
‘Would you like to go up to the Lava Lake tomorrow?’ She seemed determined to leave him on a positive note, and Ben should take a leaf from her book.
‘I don’t want to impose.’ Maybe she had things to do. People to see.
‘You’re not. I love the Lava Lake and I haven’t been up there for ages. This is a great excuse for me to go.’
It didn’t take much to convince him. ‘In that case, thank you. We’d love it.’
‘I’ll pick you up at ten? I’ll bring lunch.’
‘Ten’s great. Any time—we’ll go to the pool and if you want to sleep late...’ Ben probably shouldn’t mention that, since Arianna was clearly skating around the subject.
‘Okay. I’ll meet you there. Ten o’clock, Greek time. That’s any time before noon, English time.’
She turned and walked to her car, waving to him before she got in. As Ben watched her go, the entirely honourable impulse to save her from her nightmares vied with a slightly less honourable yearning to just hold her close while she slept. He turned away, walking into the hotel building and telling himself that both were unacceptable. He hadn’t been there for Emma, and he couldn’t promise to be there for anyone else now.