Anxiety nipped at me. My father and brother had never had much patience for my questions. “Are you sure you don’t mind? I can go read if I’ll bother you.”
He reached out and snagged my hand, threading his fingers through mine to hold me in place. Sparks tingled over my skin, like we were connected by an electric current. His warm smile hit me square in the chest. It illuminated his bronze features, lighting him up. For a moment, I saw my avenging angel again, this fierce man who was so gentle with me.
His thumb brushed the backs of my knuckles, reassuring me. “I don’t mind, tesoro. Ask me anything you want.”
My heart lifted. “Okay, thanks.”
The game started, and he turned his attention to the TV. But he didn’t release my hand. He didn’t seem to have noticed that he’d even taken hold of me, but his thumb continued to trace idle patterns on my tingling skin as his attention remained fixed on the game. I spent more time watching him than the TV. I liked how the light played over the hard planes of his handsome face and glimmered in his silver hair. I liked the low rumble of his voice as he explained penalties to me, keeping me updated on what was happening.
I didn’t really care much about the game, but his excitement was catching. When Cruz Azul scored their first goal, he roared his approval. He seemed younger in that moment, less weighed down by the darkness in his life. And he was sharing this joy with me. He’d offered me companionship.
Warmth spread from where his hand touched mine all the way to my toes, and I cheered along too.
The time passed quickly, and by the final two minutes, I was gasping for breath as Cruz Azul thundered down the field to take a shot at the winning goal. Sebastián’s hand was a vise around mine, anticipation gripping him even more tightly than it’d captured me.
Our team scored, and I whooped my joy as he pumped his fist in the air. A carefree laugh burst from my chest, and without thinking, I threw my arms around him in a tight hug. Heat blossomed between us as soon as our bodies touched, and the excitable camaraderie we’d shared flamed into something fiercer, more powerful and all-consuming.
Shocked at the sudden, visceral rush, I gasped and stared up at him. My head tipped back, and my lips softened. His face was so close to mine, his cheeks flushed and his eyes glittering.
He blinked, then slowly withdrew from me. I unwound my arms from his broad shoulders, my heart sinking. Embarrassment burned my chest. I’d thrown myself at my husband again, and he’d pulled away.
“Isabel…” My name was laced with something like regret. “I don’t want that from you. I don’t want us to be together in that way.”
I looked down at my shoes. “I understand,” I said softly, even though I didn’t. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t control myself around him, and I was equally baffled by his disinterest. Clearly, he wanted me physically, just as my body craved his touch.
I remembered my shame when I’d come over his hand after he’d belted me, how he’d forced painful orgasms from me as a punishment.
I bit my lip. Every time he touched me, I lost control. It was unnerving and humiliating.
I straightened my shoulders. If that was how our chemistry made me behave, then I didn’t want it, either. It was better this way. We were married in name only, and that was best for both of us.
I ignored the twinge deep in my chest and resolved not to touch my husband ever again.
CHAPTER 19
SEBASTIÁN
It was somewhat surreal and a little uncomfortable to be sitting at the dinner table with Isabel for the second night in a row, but I’d resolved to spend more time with her. I would stick to my plan, even after we’d almost kissed yesterday. In the excitable rush of my team winning the game, I’d nearly lost control again, and all she’d done was hug me.
She’d touched me again.
I suppressed a shudder at the visceral memory of her slender arms around my shoulders, a physical echo of her warm body caressing my skin.
Never again.
I couldn’t allow my wife to touch me with tenderness. When I was with a woman, I did the touching. That was how it had to be, and Isabel would never understand.
Regardless of our chemistry, I couldn’t fuck her. Not when my mind was so tangled with dark memories when I looked into her eyes. It wouldn’t be fair to her. And it wouldn’t be pleasurable for me, no matter how keenly I craved to claim my virgin bride’s beautiful body.
“So,” she began, somewhat awkwardly, “what do you like to do with your free time? When you’re not working or watching football?” Her lips took on a fond curve, as though the memory of last night made her happy.