“But you didn’t really have her, did you?” I said. “You had her friends. But did you really have her?”
“I had what she was capable of giving me. That was all I needed.”
Her eyes grew hard and cold, and I knew I’d crossed the line.
“She loves you very much,” I said.
She said nothing.
The waitress appeared with a tray stacked with six dishes, and two empty plates, which she put in front of us. Then she arranged the food and walked away.
“What do you want to try first?” I asked.
“All of it,” she said with a grin.
Shelly ate with the same enthusiasm she did everything else. And it was honestly one of the best meals I’d ever shared with anyone.
“You met Marley at the diner?” she finally asked, startling me.
“Yes.”
“When did you meet Megan?”
Shelly was probably the only person in the world I could discuss this with, and I trusted that she could truly understand. “I met her when I was fucking Marley,” I said with a wince. Then rushed to add, “Sorry, that was really crass.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” she said, waving her fork at me. Then she dropped her voice down to a whisper. “So you were, like, actually fucking, and Marley left and you got Megan?”
I nodded, coughing into my fist. “This is a fucking strange conversation to have on a date.”
“Why?” She did the head tilt thing again.
Mainly because I was talking about having fucked one woman while I wanted to fuck this one. It was weird. “It just is,” I replied. “I’ve never told anyone about it.”
“So you were, like…behind her…and then you were doing it doggie-style with Megan?”
I coughed. “Something like that,” I muttered.
“How did you know there was a shift?”
“The look in her eye. I could always tell them apart. Even when Megan pretended to be Marley, I could tell them apart.”
“I could always tell Lynn from the others too,” she replied. And I knew she understood. “What did it feel like? When they switched? That’s an awfully intimate position to be in when you meet someone for the first time.”
“Tell me about it.” I lifted my cloth napkin and
wiped my mouth. “It was terrifying.” A shiver slipped up my spine.
“Did you ever think about trying to love them both, like Mason did with Lynn’s friends?”
I shook my head. “I couldn’t even if I’d wanted to. Megan wasn’t good or kind. She’s devious. She’s not anyone I’d choose to be with. Ever.”
She laughed. “She sounds like me.”
I dropped my fork. “What do you mean?”
“Not good or kind? Devious? Malicious is a word I think you’ve used before to describe her.” She laughed, but it was a hollow sound. “That sounds a lot like me.”
“Is that how you see yourself?”