.
“What about you? How’s your granddad?” I paste a smile on my face and peek at West’s perfect notes, marked with bullet-points and highlighted where the important bits are. “Still grumpy as ever?”
“Worse,” West mutters, and I wince.
“And your sister?”
His blue eyes turn stormy. “Teacher is looking our way. Better stop talking.”
The teacher is in fact writing something on his phone. It’s always the same when I ask West how things are at home, and especially about his sister. The night we left, he said his sister is a danger to herself, and it’s been like a thorn in my brain since then.
“Are you walking me to the bus stop today?” I whisper, playing along. I don’t want to hurt West. I just want to help, and I’m not sure I know any more about him than I know about Kash or Nate.
“Yeah.”
“Good.” I’m not giving up. I don’t know where I stand with any of the boys, my boys, but one thing I won’t do is sit back and watch as they suffer.
Not if there’s any chance I can make it better.
Hey, you never know.
Predictably, West is quiet and wary as we walk out of the school a few hours later. I have so many questions on the tip of my tongue and I keep swallowing them back.
How do I handle this?
I feel I’m losing Nate. Kash was always a mystery. And now West is drifting out of my reach.
“Look.” I stop and turn to face him, forcing him to stop. “We’re friends, right?”
“Syd, what…? Of course we are.”
He tries to sidestep me, but I’m having none of it. “We tell each other everything.”
“Like I had to find out about your mom from Nate?” he sneers.
This time I step back, feeling like I’ve been punched in the gut. “Not fair.” My voice barely comes out. “I explained to you what happened. I don’t have secrets from you, West.” Tears blur my vision. “Not fair, jeez.”
He sighs, rubs the back of his neck. “Wait, Syd.” When I say nothing, he reaches out, grabs my hand. “Come home with me. Nobody’s in today. We can talk there.”
I shouldn’t. I’m still fighting tears, struggling not to let them fall. What’s with these boys that they can stab me to the heart with one look, one word, one silence?
But like I said, I missed West, so much. And if this is a chance to really talk with him, if he’s decided to talk, well…
“Let’s go.”
Entering the building we left in the dead of night is always strange. I’ve been here once since then, visiting West, but his grandfather was in the other room and I felt nervous. I’ve mostly seen West at school, or at the diner nearby where all the students go to gossip and drink milkshakes.
In my mind’s eye, I see us standing outside, by the big tree in the middle of the night, Nate pale and trembling, Kash determined and furious.
And I see West walking away from us, staying as we moved on.
Someone darkens the stairwell, glaring down at us as we start up. It takes me a moment to place him.
“You. Weston.” He jabs a finger at us. “Where’s Nate?”
Oh shit. Nate’s dad.
I shrink back, and West steps in front of me. “I don’t know.”