Fuck this. I don’t care. My life may or may not end tomorrow, and I need to spend tonight with my girl.
The receptionist doesn’t even blink when I march up to the desk and tell him the name of my client and to let her know when she arrives that unfortunately I was called away on a family emergency.
I really am sorry for standing her up like this, but that’s the least of my worries as I hurry outside. I’ve left my bike at home because the clutch was giving me some trouble, so I wait for a cab to pass. Fuck, I wish I’d downloaded the taxi app Gale keeps talking about. Having my bike I rarely have to take one.
As I wait, shifting from foot to foot, rubbing my frozen hands together, my phone starts to ring. When I pull it out of my pocket, Pax’s name flashes on the screen and a grin spreads over my face.
“Hey.” I walk a few paces away from the curb and the speeding cars. “How’s my favorite girl?”
“Riot. Where are you?”
She sounds tense and angry and scared, and it raises every hair on my body.
“Outside a creepy hotel, trying to get a cab. Listen, Pax…” I draw a deep breath. “I couldn’t go through with it. I canceled my appointment. I’ll leave the agency. I don’t fucking know what I’ll do instead, but that’s it, I’m done.” She says nothing, and I wait, breathless. “Pax? Did you hear what I said?”
“Yeah, I heard.” Her voice trembles and I don’t fucking know if it’s because she’s happy or upset.
Fuck.
“What’s wrong, then?” I ask, leaning against the façade of the hotel. Worry starts to gnaw at my insides. “What the hell happened?”
“I know.” Her breath hitches. “About the fight.”
What in the fuckity fuck? “Pax.”
“Corey saw the announcement on the website of the club. You against that guy, that Crusher.”
They put in an announcement? I thought it was a run-of-the-mill fight, one in a list of several for the day.
“Fuck.”
“I thought you said you were done with the fight club. I thought…” Another hitching sound. “That’s the guy who killed your friend. Who almost killed you. Why are you doing this?”
I push away from the wall, the cell phone case creaking in my hold. “Can I come over? I need to talk to you.”
Need to tell her the truth. It’s too late to hide it now.
“I’ll be waiting,” she says and disconnects.
***
It’s weird how a decision can not only change your life, but also your perception of yourself and the future. Until now I was trapped in a vicious circle: the debts, the expenses, the agency. I had no option. I could see none.
Funny how expecting to die tomorrow can make you wanna live. Really live. And love. And experience happiness.
Until tonight I had one faint hope for tomorrow: to survive the fight so I can go back to my life like before.
Tonight, as I ride a cab to Pax’s apartment, a different hope, a different plan is forming in my mind. A crazy one.
What if I won?
Yeah, I know that’s improbabl
e. I couldn’t beat the guy before, why would I be able to do it now? Goals aren’t enough to slay the monsters.
But if I won, and got a good cut, I could pay part of Kyle’s debt. God, I could leave the agency, get another job even if it pays less. Lead a normal life.
Be with Pax.