Some of the tension goes out of his shoulders, though he looks away again. He doesn’t like that I saw him scared, but he’s wrong to feel uneasy about that. He always seemed strong, but never stronger than now, when he’s letting me see his fears.
And I’ve never been more in love with him.
How do we find a solution, though? I’m out of my depth here, but I want to find a way to help. He’s obviously been having these nightmares for a while—since when?—and refuses to see a specialist. And who knows, maybe he’s right and having bad dreams is normal. Maybe something’s stressing him out, between his studies and work.
Detective Cosima at your service.
Whatever is the issue, it’s affecting his health. This has to stop. What to do?
First I’m going to Google the shit out of nightmare causes, and second… talk to his sisters? They seem to know about the dreams and they’ve known Merc all his life. It’s possible they have some insight they could share.
With me.
Whom they barely know.
Right.
Meanwhile, soon my sister will be back in town, and I’m without a job. She’s reclaiming her life, and I have to scramble up and start a new one for myself.
That involves deciding what I’m doing next.
As in, going back to Lin’s, getting my stuff, then returning to St. Louis and finding a place to stay, and a job, and…
And hoping I’m doing the right thing.
Deep inside, I know I am. I felt this spark with Merc since the beginning, despite the misunderstandings—because of me pretending to be Soph, because of Merc’s nightmares keeping him up all night.
We connect. We have fun together. He’s always there to help me when I need him. And he’s allowing me to see him when he’s down, accepting my help.
The more I think about him, the more happiness fills me up like sunlight. I’ve never felt this way before about anyone. That has to count for something, right?
I tell Lin exactly that, and she squeals so loud over the phone, she almost punctures my ear drums. “Girl! It does count for something.” She laughs hysterically.
“What’s so funny?”
“You. You’re so frigging funny. What’s he doing right now?”
“He’s asleep. These nightmares have worn him out.”
“Not just the wild bunny sex, huh? Is the kitty with him?”
Yeah, I tell Lin most of what goes on in my life, okay? Don’t judge. She’s my bestie for a reason. “Kitty is asleep on top of him.”
In fact, she’s curled up on top of his bare, muscular chest, her tail like a slash over his pec.
God, my ovaries.
“This is why you’re so funny. You’re so aware of him. All the time.”
Of course I am. Is that weird?
“And you passed that cat to him, like… is it a test?”
“Maybe,” I mutter, because it did cross my mind.
“A test of what? Don’t tell me you gave him the kitten to see if he’d make a good daddy?”
A flush scorches my cheeks. Did I? “Um.”