Wind Song turned toward her as if he could feel
my nervousness. He bared his teeth. snorted. and shook his head. Natani looked at me hard, but I'm sure it wasn't difficult to see the anxiety in my eyes.
"In here," he said, holding his hand over his heart. "is your hogan. No one can come in there unless you say yes."
"Move it. girl," M'Lady One shouted.
I handed the pick back to Natani and started out.
"He's a crazy old loon." M'Lady One muttered as we walked toward the house. "All that peyote has gone to his head and turned his brain into mashed potatoes. I don't know why Dr. Foreman keeps him here."
"Why are you here? Why do you want to do this rather than be out there with people, having fun, getting on with your life?" I dared ask her.
"Why am I here? It's the least I can do for Dr. Foreman. She's done so much for me. If you don't appreciate her yet, it's because you haven't improved enough. But don't worry," she said. smiling, "you will. She has never failed yet with one of her wards." "Never?"
"Never. It's just a matter of time. Longer for some than others maybe, but just a matter of time, so don't think you're anything special."
"You're improved?" I fired back at her. The smile flew off her face like a frightened bird lifting off a branch.
"Yes. I am." Her eyes were small and cold. "If you think I'm mean now, just imagine what I was and what I can be again if I have to be."
"If that's true." I said, pausing to take off my shoes. "then you've really not changed, have you?"
"Oh, you're so arrogant and smug. You're lucky you're going in there to therapy or I'd have you digging in the cesspool for that remark."
"Is that what you had to do?"
I thought she would get angrier, maybe even come at me, but instead, she smiled. "Worse. Which is what you can look forward to. Phoebe bird. Now get in there, and if you're smart, which you're probably not, you'll keep your wisecracks to yourself and be very, very cooperative."
Holding that cold smile on her lips, she watched me go into the house.
"Go into the office. Phoebe." Dr. Foreman called from the dining room. She was speaking with the cook.
I entered the office, but I didn't sit. Curious about what Gia had told us Dr. Foreman was doing with our case studies. I looked at some of the papers on her desk. That was a mistake, but not because she came in behind me and caught me doing it. It was a mistake because of what I saw.
It was a letter faxed to my uncle Buster and aunt Mae Louise. The letter was from the doctor at the clinic where Mama was being treated.
It began with the words. I'm sorry to inform you...
I should have stopped reading. I should have backed away from the desk and pretended I had not seen the fax. but I didn't. I drew closer and picked it up and read ... that Mrs. Elder passed away last night. We believe her last visitor brought her some bad crack cocaine, not that there is any good crack cocaine, and it had a dramatic and fatal effect to h
er heart. We have turned the information over to the police. Please accept our condolences and contact us concerning Mrs. Eider's remains as soon as possible.
The letter seemed to float out of my fingers. It struck the edge of the desk and fell to the floor.
"Pick that up immediately," I heard Dr. Foreman say. She was standing behind me in the doorway.
I looked at her, then did what she said.
"Who do you think you are searching through papers on my desk?" she asked as she entered.
"I didn't search through papers. I just saw..." I glanced at the paper again. I had a right to look at this anyway, I thought. This is about my mother. I told myself, and then it hit me harder, sharper, like a slap across my face. My father is gone and my mother is dead now, too. Even though Dr. Foreman hovered just behind me. I had to read it again to be sure I hadn't imagined it. Remains? It made it sound like leftovers. Send a doggie bag for what was left of Mrs, Elder,
"Put that down and sit." she commanded. I didn't move. "Sit!" she shouted, pointing at the chair. "Right now."
I put the letter on the desk, went to the hardwood chair she had facing her desk, and sat. She sat behind her desk and looked down at the letter from the clinic. She seemed to be reading it for the first time,
"I was going to tell you about this myself, break it to you in a far more charitable and considerate fashion when I thought you were ready." she said, her voice a little softer.