“You come to me if you need anything,” he said. “Anything at all, Lorelei. You wrote a very good paper on Lady Macbeth,” he added.
I thanked him but tried to avoid his eyes and his interest in me the rest of the week. Word finally spread that Mark Daniels’s family had moved away. When I arrived home, I immediately told Daddy. He was in the kitchen talking with Mrs. Fennel. They both looked at me and were quiet for a moment.
“Well, maybe it’s over, then,” Daddy finally said. He smiled. “Let’s just continue as if none of it ever happened.”
I looked at Mrs. Fennel. She was studying me so hard my heart began to race.
“Okay, Daddy,” I said.
When I stepped into my room, I looked at the bedroom window through which I had almost been pulled into oblivion.
The bloodstains were finally gone.
10
Back to Normal
Ava was true to her word. Suddenly, she wanted to include me in everything she was doing. We went shopping together to keep up with some of the latest fashions. Ava was far more of a fashion guru than I was, but in her way of thinking, it was all work-related.
“Daddy places no limits on our budget because he wants us to be walking sticks of dynamite out there,” she said, half kidding. She looked at me and added, “Neither of us really has to depend on clothes, though, Lorelei. But why not take advantage?” She laughed. It was good to hear her laugh and, more important, to have her include me in everything she thought for herself.
Sometimes we just took rides with no particular destination in mind. She would pop her head in my doorway and say, “Let’s get some fresh air.”
I loved that, because just cruising was conducive to talking, to exchanging thoughts and ideas the way sisters should. I learned a lot about her youth during those rides, how she had always been so envious of Brianna, until that night when Brianna made the mistake with the married man. She had often questioned me about it when I was younger, acting as if she was unhappy that she had not been the one to have actually seen it all. I would have gladly changed places with her.
“I told myself I would never disappoint Daddy like that, if I could help it,” Ava said. “Of course, I did with that stoned man,” she sadly admitted.
“He’s forgiven you,” I told her.
“Maybe. In any case, Lorelei, Daddy forgives only once. Remember that.”
I didn’t want to ask her what that meant, what would happen if she or I seriously upset Daddy more than once. At this point in my life, I couldn’t imagine Daddy ever being so angry at me that he would disown me. When I was younger, I had had those fears, but I felt closer to him now, and although I wouldn’t say it to Ava, I did still feel that I was his special daughter.
We continued to have these good, intimate talks. Sometimes we just sat on the beach in Santa Monica and watched people sailing or simply sunned ourselves. She became more and more open about her own feelings while growing up with Brianna still in the house.
“I learned a lot just watching her, despite my young age. That’s what I mean by instinct,” she said, but she went on to describe her own days of doubt and difficulty, especially when it
came to Mrs. Fennel, whom she now admitted she obeyed more out of fear than respect.
“I mean, I respect her because Daddy has such high regard for her, but I won’t miss her when I leave.”
“When will you leave, Ava?”
“When Daddy says it’s time,” she said. She turned to me. “And that depends on you.”
I didn’t say anything, but I nodded.
“Don’t worry. You’ll do fine,” she said. She reached for my hand and smiled. For a while, it was as if we were no different from any other two young women, young sisters opening up their intimate thoughts and feelings.
We continued to spend time together. We went to movies, flirted a bit with boys in the malls, and enjoyed our shopping sprees, sometimes just buying silly hats or purses. Marla was upset that she wasn’t included, but Ava got around that by telling her that I would do exactly with her what she was now doing with me. Once again, she heard that familiar expression, the one I had grown up with: “Your time will come. Be patient.”
Daddy stayed home more, too, and soon he was doing more things with us, things that included Marla anyway. When spring break came, he took the three of us to San Francisco. We had a wonderful time doing what he called the “Tourist Polka,” and we had some fun food for a change, without Mrs. Fennel looking over our shoulders. We spent a day in Carmel and then drove down the coast and saw Big Sur. Daddy also decided we would go to the Hearst Castle on the way home. He had been in many, many castles and made comparisons for us, sometimes with very descriptive details about the art, the interiors, and the grounds, including the plants and trees.
“How can you remember so much?” I asked him.
“I don’t know, Lorelei. I just do. There are many things I don’t understand about myself,” he revealed.
Ava overheard his answer. I saw her eyebrows lift. I understood why. Daddy never admitted to any weaknesses or flaws. This sounded a bit as if he was doing just that, and for us that was extraordinary.