"Mm. Maybe that's what drew them together. I wonder what their first date was like," he thought aloud and then looked down at his hands in his lap, lowering his head like some flag of defeat.
"I'd like to see how someone goes on a date over the Internet," I said to help move him from his terrible sorrow.
He raised his eyes to me quickly. "Really?"
"I don't know as much as other people my age do about computers. I started the course this year, but I've got a lot to learn yet."
"It's easy," he said. "Aunt Charlotte thinks it's rocket science, but she doesn't even know how to work the microwave oven. She's never had to do much for herself. I'll show you most of it in a few hours," he promised, permitting excitement to enter his voice.
"I'd like that. Evan. Thanks.' He smiled coyly.
"What?" I asked.
"I'll show you one of my computer dates, but you've got to share your date, too. You've got to tell me about it, okay?"
"Sure," I said.
It seemed innocent enough.
But I didn't know what he meant, how much he really wanted from me. Despite all his electronic relationships and connections, he was really very lonely. It showed in his shadowed eyes.
And then I thought, maybe Charlotte wasn't so wrong. Maybe she expected I would fill in some of the empty places that Evan's mother once occupied for him. It wasn't a bad thing to want for him. I thought. Perhaps she did care about him and feel terribly sorry for him. Who could blame her for bringing us into her home if that was truly the reason? It made me feel bad for doubting her or distrusting her.
But then I thought again about the lesson in the allegory of Plato's Cave: Things are not always what they seem to be. Wait, wait for the last bit of darkness and shadow to fall victim to the light, and then look again, think again, feel again.
Then you will know what is true and what is not.
7
Heart of the Angel
I had no idea how much time I had spent in Evan's room watching him work his computer and learning about it. I couldn't help but be fascinated by the exchanges going on between the boys and Girls he and I watched in the so-called dating room.
"I used to date this girl, too." he told me. "Her screen name is Dreamluv. She didn't change her dating room password so I can eavesdrop."
He looked at me and smiled.
"I think she wants me to listen in. It's her way of teasing me. She thinks it bothers me. I guess. I blew her off two days ago," he said.
"How old is she?"
"She says she's seventeen, but from her vocabulary and responses, I'd say she's more like twelve, wouldn't you?"
"I can't believe this," I remarked when I saw that the conversation between Dreamluv and her supposed new boyfriend Spunky was rapidly becoming raunchy and quite vulgar. They began to tell each other things to do to themselves and then report the results.
"Disgusting!" I cried, and Evan clicked them off instantly.
"Now you've seen cyber sex," he remarked with a casual smile,.
"I don't want to see it. It makes me sick to my stomach."
"For most of these people," he said, nearly in a whisper so that I had to struggle to hear him. "it's all they have. They're either too shy or they think they're too ugly to meet people face to face. Some of them are in my Invalids Anonymous organization. I'm sorry if it upset you.
Before I could respond, I heard Mommy's and Charlotte's voices echoing down the hallway. The sounds of their laughter and their shoes clicking over the tile floors brought my eves to the clock.
"They're back! Look what time it is. -We've been here for hours. Evan."
He shrugged.