I didn't understand it, of course. "What is the prayer?"
"This is a four-wind medallion. It says, 'Whose voice I hear in the wind.'"
"I wondered how you dealt with all your problems," I said. He closed his shirt.
"Oh? So, how have I done it?" he asked.
"By being comfortable with who you are." I said, and he smiled.
"Start your own journey, April."
He went back to his sandwich, and I bit into my apple.
"Oh," I said. "My sister does have a ticket to the all-star game for you. Will you go?"
"I will go." he said.
"Good. I'll pick you up. I mean, we'll pick you up. Celia and I. She's really very nice. I've decided."
He laughed. "That's good."
We sat eating quietly. The first bell rang, and we rose to go into the building.
"I'11 see you at chess," I said.
He nodded and walked off to his class. I stood watching him for a moment and then turned to go to mine. Dolores and her friends were grinning at me again. I smiled back at them.
I'd already learned a lesson from Peter Smoke. If I'm comfortable withwho I am, I thought, they'll never be able to hurt me.
Peter and I had another good session. I was surprised myself at how much I remembered and some of the ideas I had for moves. I saw he was pleased. He didn't want me to take him home after school. however. He had other things to do that day for his aunt. We parted in the parking lot with plans to meet for lunch again. I told him what time I would be by to pick him up for the basketball game, and he made me reassure him that it was all right.
For the first time since we had left Hickory, I felt excited and happy. I was determined to travel the medicine wheel, too. Neither Celia nor Brenda was home yet. I changed into a jogging suit and went on a run. I nearly got lost because I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. This time. when I arrived home and Brenda and Celia were there, they were both pleasantly surprised, especially Brenda.
"You started doing something intelligent without my telling you or nagging you," she said.
"I'm turning north," I said.
"Huh?" She looked at Celia to see if she understood. Celia shook her head. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You'll see," I said, and went to shower and change for dinner. Now that I had begun this circle, I hoped I would finish.
16 The Big Game
. Peter and I had another good conversation at lunch, and this time, we went inside early enough for him to walk me to my classroom. After school. I took him home and then hurried home myself to prepare for what I considered now to be our first date. Celia was already giving Brenda her massage. Only Celia appeared to notice or care how excited I was about bringing Peter to the game. Brenda left first. She never ate much before a game. and I didn't want to eat much. either. My stomach was swirling, and I felt as if I had swallowed a hive of crazed bees.
I showered and washed my hair. While I was working on some makeup. Celia came to the door and surprised me with a tray of cheese and crackers and a glass of white wine for me as well as herself.
"A little can't hurt you." she said when she saw how astonished I was. "It will relax you. I know you're nervous. You're worried about making a good impression, hitting it off. First social occasions are always the most testy. Unless, of course, you've already established same intimacy with Peter," she added, studying my reaction.
"We're just friends right now," I said. "Good. You're not sure if it will turn out to be
something more. It's natural." She handed me the wine. I sipped some and nibbled on a cracker and cheese while she sat on the tub and watched me decide how to wear my hair and do my face. She began to make suggestions. Except for Mama's occasional coaching. I had no one to guide me about my looks. Brenda never wore makeup and always kept her hair short.
"You have some very nice features. April," Celia said. "You have to learn how to highlight them, how to emphasize your eyes, for example."
"What do you mean?" She took the eyeliner and mascara out of my hands and had me sit on the tub while she worked on my face. As she put on my makeup and chose what she thought was the right shade of lipstick for my complexion, she lectured about cosmetics. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask her how she knew so much about it and why all this was important to her if she wasn't interested in boys, but once again, she anticipated my questions.
"The truth is, we look good for ourselves. It makes us feel better and more confident about ourselves. Girls who dress and fix their faces just to please boyfriends are often not true to who they really are inside. It's like putting on a mask as far as they're concerned. They might have a boyfriend who hates their hair one way, even though that way really enhances their looks. I guess the trick is not to see yourself as someone else sees you but how you, yourself, see yourself. Does that make sense?"