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"She's good, but she's not as good as I am," Brenda declared. "In just about every play he's designed, she finishes with the shot. I'm sorry I agreed to play in this game." "I'm sure you'll do fine." Celia said.

"Aren't you listening to me? I hate playing under this man," she snapped back at Celia.

"She's only trying to make you feel better about it. Brenda," I said.

Brenda raised her eyebrows. "Oh,' she said. "Thank you. Dr. Taylor."' She looked at Celia. "You're beginning to rub off on people," she told her, and went into the bedroom.

"Don't worry about it," Celia said. "She'll calm down. She often goes through these sorts of tantrums right before the big game. It's pressure. Afterward, she'll hate herself for the way she was. I'll go talk to her," she said. rising.

"Don't forget about the tickets." I called.

After a few more minutes of television, which was really like a light bulb with moving shadows to me at the moment. I rose, too, and went to my apartment.

Brenda was calmer in the morning. Celia had asked her about the tickets, and she told me she had one for Peter.

"Let me know today for sure," she said. "Otherwise, I want to give it to Paula Grassman, one of my teammates."

"Okay," I said.

I looked for Peter during the school day and understood why it was always hard to find him between classes. He rushed out of his and was the first to enter the next class all the time. Other students lingered in the hallways, talking and socializing until the bell rang, and then rushed to their rooms before the late bell sounded thirty seconds later. He was on a different corridor most of the day. so I couldn't get into the hallway fast enough to catch him.

Lunchtime, however, I found him at his tree. I said. He glanced at me.

"Hi," he replied, turning his attention back to the sky. "I didn't have any nightmares last night," I told him. He looked at me to see if I was being serious,

"Of course. I didn't have any the night before. either," I added, and he laughed.

"Then we'll have to wait to see if it works for you or not." he said.

I sat beside him and opened my brown bag. "Same lunch?"

"It's no secret I'm trying to lose weight," I told him. "I've been trying to do that for a long time. Every time I lose a few, I gain them back,"

"You need to follow the medicine wheel," he said. What's that?"

"Everyone has four aspects to his nature. North is the physical realm: East is what we call the realm of knowledge, enlightenment: South is the spiritual realm: and West is the realm of introspective thought. When you walk the steps of your recovery, you choose a starting point and continue in a sunrise direction back to your origin. A circle has no true beginning or ending, so when you have traveled through the wheel back to where you started, you begin again, but with new understanding. It's something you do all your life.'

"I don't understand how it works," I said.

He turned and drew a circle in the sand where I had drawn the chess board.

"The North is a place of beginning because it is a place of rebirth. You make a decision here to stop abusing your body.

First, you have to recognize that you are damaging yourself. You can't do this until you see the connection between your physical and emotional self. You abuse yourself because you are angry inside. Attack this anger."

I nodded. "Yes. I am angry inside. How do I stop it?'

"Go to the East, the morning direction. Tell yourself you are worthwhile, that you have been given a sacred gift, life, and you have a right to be you. You need to find a balance between yourself and others, a harmony. Once you are aware of ghat is causing you to abuse yourself and others, you can begin' to stop it.

"Look to the South," he said, nodding at the sky. "Recognize that there is a power greater than us. Turn to it for help. You must connect inside with yourself, with the most private part of you, and admit to your fears, your desires and emotions. This way, you will care for your own spirit.

"When you look to the West, you will see that the path to recovery, to your solving your problems, comes when you admit to yourself that no one can change you but you. In the end, you're responsible for yourself."

"Have you done this, traveled the wheel?"

"Yes. and I'm traveling it now," he said. He unbuttoned his shirt and showed me a medallion he wore around his neck.

My grandfather gave me this." he said. "This is a traditional medicine wheel." He turned it over. "On the back is a prayer to the Great Spirit."


Tags: V.C. Andrews Shadows Horror