"That's your issue in your head. I did not think it or imply it, and wasn't trying to."
"That's fair," he said. "What did you want when the power rose, Anita?"
"I remember thinking life would be easier if more of the men were actually bisexual."
"And you say Damian took it well? I mean, he's truly homophobic. I just wasn't into guys before Nathaniel."
"He seems fine, in fact eerily so. Jean-Claude thinks that Nathaniel literally bespelled him."
"And you, because you lost time, too."
"I know."
"How did the spell work on you?"
"I told you I'm more attracted to Damian than I ever have been."
"So much so that you're taking other lovers to make sure you and Nathaniel don't get carried away romantically with him." Micah's voice was a little dry.
"Yeah," I said.
"Fortune, Echo, and Magda--I understand they're all Harlequin and your lovers."
"Hey, you're lovers with all the women, too."
"You don't need to get defensive on my part, Anita. I'm not criticizing."
"Sorry. I think I feel bad that I'm taking all your lovers out of town."
"Don't. You explained why you can't take any of the rats and you need people you can feed the ardeur on anyway. With Magda you also get her master, Giacomo, and they are some of the toughest warriors we have. I like you taking good people with you and Nathaniel."
"We'll have Nicky, too. He'll keep us safe."
"I never doubt Nicky. He'd give his life for you and Nathaniel, so I'm good with him going, too."
"Jake and Kaazim, Pride, Dev, Domino, Socrates, and probably Ethan."
"We don't have any bad people working security for us, Anita, and you've got to weight the list toward ones who would be willing to feed you and the vampires that will be traveling with you. What's bothering you that you feel like you have to explain it all to me? Usually you just grab your choice of backup and go. You take Nicky the way I take Bram, but other than that we both pick the people best for the job."
"You told me that you had an issue with Dev."
"No, I have an issue with me that I didn't realize until Dev started dating Nathaniel, you, and Jean-Claude."
"Dev and I don't really date."
"He dates both the men."
I nodded, realized he couldn't see it, and said, "Yes, he does."
"He's also completely and comfortably bisexual with both of them and I'm not."
"You and Nathaniel are lovers, and you're . . . more than just friends with Jean-Claude."
"There are still things I don't do with Nathaniel that he misses. It's one of the reasons I agreed to Dev dating him. We're polyamorous, not monogamous, so it seemed logical and fair that he have another man in his life who could give him what I couldn't."
"Anytime you make romantic decisions that are logical and fair, they usually end up making someone feel that they are very illogical and unfair," I said.
"Now you tell me." He tried to make it a joke, but it didn't quite work.
"Jean-Claude still won't be in bed with Dev and Nathaniel without at least you or me."
"He won't be with Nathaniel without you in bed with them. Jean-Claude wasn't meeting all of Nathaniel's guy-on-guy needs any more than I was."
"You told me that you were having issues with Nathaniel getting more serious with Dev than you expected, or something like that."
"Yeah, something like that. I totally underestimated how much it would mean to the man I love to have a man in his bed who was happy to do everything possible with him."
"And Dev is frustrated that Jean-Claude isn't responding to his charms with as much enthusiasm as Nathaniel," I said.
"I don't think Jean-Claude is as into men as either of them."
"He likes men," I said.
"I just said he doesn't like men as much as Dev and Nathaniel."
"Nathaniel is one of the most evenly bisexual people I've ever met, and Dev is a close second."
"He leans a little bit more to the guy side," Micah said.
"Probably, but it's hard for me to judge, being a woman."
"Fair enough. Where would you put Jean-Claude on the Kinsey scale?"
"Wherever he wants to be."
"That's probably truer than we understand about him."
"I said it. Maybe I do understand him."
"You've known him longer than I have."
"I'm taking Dev specifically to help me buffer Nathaniel from falling too much in love with Damian. That's the part I'm not sure you'll like."
"When you know that I'm a little worried that Nathaniel is already too in love with Dev for my comfort."
"Yes," I said.
"Dev is your golden tiger to call, and that is an amazing power boost for you and for me as your Nimir-Raj. A combination of your panwere lycanthropy and his power as gold tiger helped me find a second form as a black tiger. Being able to shift into a second beast has helped me win fights I might have lost, and just plain scared some of the shapeshifters who would have fought us on these trips. A panwere is the rarest form of lycanthropy. They're almost legend among us. The extra power I've gained through our ties to Dev has saved my blood and body more than once."
"And that makes me very happy," I said.
"Me, too," he said, and there was that edge of a smile in his voice that I loved to hear.
"You told Dev if he gave you enough power to do exactly what you just said, that you'd put a ring on it, on him."
"He wants to be the weretiger in the commitment ceremony with you and the men you choose."
"If I could I'd just marry you, Nathaniel, and Jean-Claude."
"Legally you can only marry Jean-Claude, and if you can only marry one of us it has to be the vampire king."
"You're the leopard king."
"Of St. Louis, not the whole country."
"I'd still marry the three of you legally if I could."
"I know, and I appreciate that."
I was quiet for a second and almost didn't say it, but finally I had to. "You know it's not the boy-on-boy sex that's made Dev move up in Nathaniel's estimation, right?"
He sighed heavily. "I know I was stupid. I know I'm being stupid."
"I didn't say that."
"I didn't expect Nathaniel to propose to me that he and I get married for real the way you and Jean-Claude are going to."
"You proposed to both of us once, Micah. You said you'd marry us both if you could."
"I meant I'd marry both of you, not just one of you."
"Micah, be honest. You'd marry just me if you could, so you can't blame Nathaniel for being hurt that you won't marry just him."
"I told you I was being stupid. It's just he's the first boyfriend I've ever had. If I got married I just always saw myself with a woman."
"A lot of us get stuck on what we think we should have, should love, should want, should lust after. Therapy helped me get over my white-picket-fence fantasy, because it so wasn't going to work for my life."
"Fine. I feel threatened by Dev, because he would marry Nathaniel."
"I don't think they would work as each other's primary partner," I said.
"They don't have to, Anita. That's what makes the thought of Dev putting a legal ring on Nathaniel's finger so possible. They both want to get married. Nathaniel asked me and I'm hesitating. Dev proposed to Asher and got turned down flat."
"Asher was a shit about it. We all broke up with him because he's such a shit," I said.
"I didn't break up with Asher. I do not see what any of you see in him."
"You don't like bondage and rough sex enough to appreciate Asher's finer qualities."
"I know he's really good at being mean both for pretend in the dungeon and in real life. The last part sort of makes the first part not work for me."
"You don't like the first part," I said.
"You don't like the second part," he said.
"None of us do, which is why Jean-Claude, Nathani
el, Richard, and I all broke up with him."
"From all accounts he's miserable with just Kane as his lover and moitie bete," Micah said.
"Asher is one of the least monogamous people I know and one of the kinkiest. He's now stuck being monogamous with Kane, who is totally vanilla and doesn't do kink at all. Of course Asher is miserable. He's created his own living hell."
"Some people would say that homosexuality is a type of kink," Micah said.
"Then some people haven't been around enough homosexuals, because they can be every bit as conservative and narrow-minded as any heterosexual."
"My experience is limited, and most of the bisexuals I know are also kinky."
"Bisexuals seem to have a higher kink level than either end of the scale," I said.
"At least the ones we know," he said.
"Fair enough, so do you want me to leave Dev at home?"
"You'd really do that just because I'm blaming him for something that is my fault?"