“Oh my goodness. Oh gosh.”
“He needs you to tell us the truth so that we can find out who did this, so we can find the answers for those who loved him, who followed him. Who believed in him.”
Ulla clasped her hands together, pressed them in the deep valley between her very impressive breasts. “We all did. I think we’ll be lost without him, I really do. I don’t know how we’ll find the path to Enlightenment again.”
“The truth is the first step on the path.”
She blinked, her watery brown eyes fixed on Roarke. “Really?”
“You’re carrying a burden now, the burden of a secret. He wants you to lay it down and take that first step on the path. I’m sure of it.”
“Oh.” Her eyes stayed riveted on Roarke’s. “If I could! But I don’t want to do anything that would hurt him, or Jolene, or the girls. I’d just never forgive myself.”
“Telling us will help them, not hurt them. If they don’t need to know this answer, it won’t leave this room.”
She closed her eyes a moment while her lips moved in
silent prayer. “I’m so confused. So sick in my heart. I want to help. I want to stay on the path.” Ulla spoke to Roarke. It was, Eve realized, as if she herself had poofed like smoke.
“I guess you could say that Jimmy Jay and I had a special bond. A relationship that transcended earthy barriers.”
“You loved each other,” Roarke prompted.
“We did. We did.” Gratitude poured through her voice at his understanding. “In a different way from the way he loved Jolene, and his girls, and how I love my almost fiancé, Earl, back in Tupelo.”
Ulla glanced at the photo beside her bed of a skinny man with a big, gummy grin.
“We created light with each other. And I helped him, with my body, gain the strength to preach the Word. It wasn’t just physical, you see. It wasn’t like, well, sex.”
Eve resisted, by a thin, thin thread, asking what the hell it was like if it wasn’t like sex.
“Though we gave each other pleasure, I don’t deny it.” Eyes leaking, and pleading for understanding, Ulla caught her bottom lip between her teeth. “But through the pleasure, we gained a deeper understanding. Not everyone understands the understanding, so we had to keep it just between the two of us.”
“Can I ask how long you had this special bond?” Eve put in.
“Four months, two weeks, and five days.” Ulla smiled sweetly. “We both prayed on it first, and that power—the spiritual power—was so strong, we knew it was right.”
“And how often did you . . . create light with each other?”
“Oh, two or three times a week.”
“Including this afternoon.”
“Yes. Tonight was a very big night, for all of us. It was so important that Jimmy Jay have all the light and energy we could make.”
She took another tissue, blew her nose delicately. “He came here this afternoon. I stayed in when the girls went out to do a little sightseeing before going to rehearsal. It took almost an hour. It was a special, special night, so we had to create a lot of light.”
“Did he ever give you anything?” Eve asked. “Money, presents.”
“Oh no, oh goodness. That would be wrong.”
“Uh-huh. Did you ever go out together? Travel together, a holiday, out to dinner?”
“No, oh no. We just came together in my room wherever we were. For the light. Or maybe, once or twice, backstage somewhere if he needed a little extra closer to preaching.”
“And you didn’t worry that you might be found out by someone who didn’t understand the understanding.”
“Well, I was, a little. But Jimmy Jay felt that we were shielded by our higher purpose, and our pure intentions.”