Barbara’s mistrust of Liam hadn’t ever been a secret. But then, she mistrusted most men.
“She thought I had a thing for him,” Marie said. Her calmness was off-putting. So unlike her. And he hadn’t realized she’d known that about her mother. “She knew I wasn’t in love with him, but thought that was because I wouldn’t let myself fall in love with anybody.”
She fell silent then. Saying nothing about his duplicity. Or her mother’s.
So he continued. He wanted it all out. No more secrets. No matter what happened, being himself again, honest, a man of integrity, would, be a relief. “Shortly after I accepted the job, news of the Connelly trouble broke and there was even bigger cause for concern. The threats started coming against Liam, and Barbara wanted me to stay on in a bodyguard capacity to make certain you weren’t in any physical danger. But she had one caveat. You were not to know, under any circumstances, that she’d hired me.”
“That’s how you came to be at Liam’s car in the back parking lot that night...”
He bowed his head. In some ways the worst was yet to come.
“I’d met Jeb Williams, his father’s bodyguard, during my initial investigation of Liam. We exchanged professional courtesies and that was all. When I figured out that someone was after Liam, and that that also potentially put you in danger, I determined that the best way to protect you was to protect him.”
“So you concocted the story about Williams’s sending you...”
Elliott focused on truth now, telling himself it hurt less. But he was aware of Marie, every breath she took as she sat there on that box. “I mentioned Williams, hoping that the association would give me enough credibility to convince Liam to give me a shot. He assumed Williams sent me on behalf of his father. The assumption was a godsend and I used it.”
There. It was all out now. Every last bit of it.
He was through. Done. He’d very probably ruined a client’s relationship with her daughter. He’d lost a wife. A career. And lost any thought he might have harbored that he and Liam and Gabrielle would ever be close friends. But worse than any of it was knowing that he’d hurt Marie.
The one thing he’d pledged never to do.
“How did my mother find you?” She sat there, staring at him, her hands folded in her lap.
“A private investigators’ directory I’m registered on. She chose me, initially, because I lived so close to the Arapahoe. She wanted someone who was familiar with the area.”
“Had you ever been to my shop before she sent you?” He took a minute to answer. Actually considered lying to her. If he’d met her before her mother had called, if he’d taken the job because he’d already felt a connection to her...
“No.” The word was in answer to her question, but also an admonition to himself.
No more slippery slopes for him. If he was all he was ever going to have, then at least he’d be a man he could count on.
He needed to touch her. To know that her heart wasn’t completely closed off to him. To everyone. Had to know the extent of the damage he’d inflicted. And scrambled for a way to make it all right. To fix what he’d done.
“I’m sorry, Marie,” he said. “So, so sorry.”
Her silence was telling. She was shutting him out. Or shutting herself in.
Gabi and Liam would be there soon and he was glad. She’d have her best friends to lean on. To take her home. To tend to her.
He’d be left alone. Again. Knowing he deserved it this time didn’t help. And he panicked a little. For just a second. Before he started thinking about her again.
And scrambled for a way to ease her pain.
“I love you so much. I expect that’s hard for you to believe right now...”
“No.” She looked him in the eye. “No, it isn’t. My dad always loved my mom...”
The reference to her father was not good.
“I would never be unfaithful to you, Marie. You have to know that.”
“And lying to me—okay, by omission—but lying...you don’t think that was unfaithful?” Her tone was soft. Broken more than accusing. But he heard accusation. Each word pierced him anew.
“I can’t deny that I married you knowing that you believed our meeting was chance,” he said, thinking only of her right then. “But please know that I chose the route that I thought was most faithful to you.”
She looked at him then and he tried to hold on while she seemed to study his soul—praying that she didn’t see the weak part of him that had married her because he was scared to death he was going to lose her.