His raised eyebrow made her want to start kissing him again. Life got so unexpectedly ugly sometimes, you needed to lose yourself in exquisite sensation just to survive.
“Think about it,” she continued. “Look at Danny and Devon.” Look at an eleven-year-old girl whose mother had just died and whose father got drunk the day of the funeral and backhanded her for coming to him crying—begging him for solace.
He hadn’t been able to handle his own grief, let alone hers. She’d understood. Which was why it had been so much easier for him to get her to believe that she was the problem. That she made him lose his temper. He’d never once hit her mother. Or her either, until that day.
“Rules and protocol are great for most situations,” she said, overtired suddenly. “But when they don’t work, you have to go with your gut. That’s why we’re given instincts as well as intellect.”
It was a lesson she was still learning. To trust her instincts.
“Come here.” Tad held out his arms to her. Miranda hesitated, afraid now to seek her own comfort.
She should be allowed to be happy. She had that right.
Just as she should’ve been able to seek comfort from her father the day her mother was buried. Just as Tad should’ve been celebrated for saving a life, not put under investigation because he hadn’t followed protocol. She should never have had to take her child and run, leaving her father to grow old all alone.
Tad’s arms slid under hers and he lifted her up against him, sliding the covers they’d pulled down earlier over both of them.
Life wasn’t fair. It was filled with tough choices.
And sometimes...miraculous moments, too.
Chapter 18
The sun was shining all that next week. Tad had to make a conscious effort not to get lulled into a sense of laid-back, carefree California life. Marie and Danny were living their lives, going about their normal routines for the most part. Danny was in rehab, working hard and showing progress already.
They found out at Tuesday’s High Risk Team meeting that Marie had taken Danny to make the phone call to her ex, but at the last minute, she’d felt herself being sucked in again and refused to go through with it. Danny had been upset with her and she’d just started driving. Afraid to go home. Not wanting to call the police for fear of getting Devon in trouble and having Danny hate her more. In the end, they’d driven up the coast, had lunch and talked, just mom and son. They were both undergoing counseling, but Danny was only seven; he’d witnessed a lot in his young life and the mom-and-son time had been good for both of them. When they returned home, he was no longer mad at his mom, and Marie was readier than ever to divorce Devon and get on with her life.
They’d also heard at Tuesday’s meeting that Devon had gone to a couple of job interviews. And he’d been sober for them.
Tad had difficulty keeping his hands to himself when Miranda stayed for coffee with him after the others who’d joined them had left. The two of them had been texting back and forth since they’d shared breakfast in bed Sunday morning before saying goodbye.
He’d been hoping for a dinner invitation, but hadn’t received one.
“I need to kiss you,” he told her as they sat, looking into each other’s eyes like a couple of lovesick kids.
“I know.”
“I could come over tonight.” He’d sworn he wasn’t going to push himself on her. That he’d wait for her to set whatever pace she felt comfortable with.
Disappointment hit when she shook her head, but he quickly deflected it. He’d known, going in, that they weren’t building to something more. They couldn’t, not with the secrets that stood between them.
He shouldn’t have slept with her at all. He’d known that, too. Had been determined not to. And then she’d bared her sexual self to him, told him she’d cry herself to sleep...
From anyone else that might have been a come-on, a tease. He’d been completely certain Miranda had been giving him the truth.
“I don’t want Ethan to get the wrong impression.” The intimate way she was looking at him wasn’t at all disappointing. In fact, the opposite was true.
He had to be careful. And he cared so much, he couldn’t snub her advances. “You don’t want him to know we’re anything but friends,” he surmised.
“Right. You can’t touch me or be anywhere near my bedroom when he’s around. The way he’s suddenly looking for more relationship contact in his life... I’ve told him you’re only here for a while longer, but he’s only six. Knowing that isn’t going to stop him from making more of it than there is.”
He understood completely. Knew she was right. “So, coffee and wanting to kiss you is it,” he said.
He smiled. Remembered what it felt like to touch his lips to hers.
And remembered a whole lot more when she sm
iled back.