Getting ready for bed had become like a strange new ritual in which everything had taken on a double meaning. For the last hour, Spencer, who was clad in sweatpants and a T-shirt, had lain still as a rock on one side of the bed, while Katrina clung to the other side. Even though they had their backs to each other, she was fairly sure he was awake.
She was in bed with a glorious man whose touch made her melt and, instead of pressuring her, he was determinedly keeping his distance. His restraint had gone a long way to reassuring her that he did value her and that he genuinely regretted his doubts over her reliability.
Just my luck. I finally discover my wild side, only to fall for Mustang Valley’s last remaining gentleman. The thought made her stifle a giggle.
“Are you okay?” Spencer asked.
“Fine.” She shifted to her other side, facing his back in the darkness. “Is this too weird? Is that why you can’t sleep?”
“It feels a little...unusual.” He mirrored her action and, in the darkness, she could just make out his outline. “It’s been a long time since I’ve shared a bed with someone.”
Although she knew he was single, she hadn’t given his prior relationship status much thought. There was a desolate note in his voice, and she wondered what had put it there.
“I’m sorry. I was thinking of myself when I suggested this. I didn’t know it might be a trigger for you.”
“How could you know? It’s not something I talk about.”
“Do you want to talk about it now?” Was she being presumptuous? Then again, they were in bed together. And neither of them appeared to be sleepy. “I’m a good listener.”
When he didn’t respond, she figured she had her answer. Yes, she was being forward. Why would he want to tell her his secrets? There was an undeniable physical attraction between them. On her part, that attraction could turn into something more, but why would she assume it meant the same to him?
“Billie was my fiancée.” His voice was so quiet, she had to strain to hear. “She was murdered four years ago.”
“Oh, my stars.” She moved closer and placed a hand on his arm. “What an unbearable burden for you.”
It explained so much about him. That air of sadness she’d always sensed, the way he deliberately kept other people at a distance, how he stepped back every time they were getting close.
“She was a cop. Just a rookie. There’d been a call to go to an apartment because of a domestic dispute. The caller said there was a kid screaming for help. Billie ignored the golden rule and went in alone without waiting for backup.” The words were coming out fast now. It was as if, having started to tell the story, he couldn’t stop. “It was a trick. The guy who placed the call had a grudge against the police. He took her hostage—”
Even though her touch on his arm was light, and there was still space between them, Katrina could feel the tremors that shook his body. Scooting over, she wrapped her arms around him. “Don’t do this to yourself. Not if it hurts too much.”
“It’s all in my mind, anyway. Talking about it doesn’t make it worse.” He rested his head on her shoulder. “He held her for two days before he killed her. I was nearly out of my mind picturing what he was doing to her. Had to be restrained from going in there a few times. In the end, it was almost a relief to know she was dead. Except those images wouldn’t leave me.”
“I’m so sorry.” She stroked his hair as silent sobs wracked his body. “Did you get help? You must have needed someone to talk to.”
“I was diagnosed with PTSD and I had counseling.” He breathed deeply, clearly using a technique he’d been taught. “In the end, it was my brother and sister who pulled me through it. Late-night chats, long walks, film nights, jokes that no one else understood... They were in tune with what I needed in our unique triplet way.”
“They sound amazing.”
“They have their moments.” He gave a half laugh. “If you ever meet them, don’t tell them I said that.”
She rested her cheek against his hair and smiled. If she ever met them? Why would that happen?
“Maybe we should try to sleep now?”
“Yeah.” Spencer pulled her closer. “This feels good.”
Holding him, comforting him, caring for him: those things had replaced the earlier awkwardness between them. This new closeness had nothing to do with the heat they’d generated. Yet the attraction was still there, waiting to resurface.
And he was right. It did feel good.
Chapter 13
“Can anyone explain to me why there is a good-looking cop in our office?” Suzie asked the next morning. “If he was dating anyone here, I’d understand.” She rolled her eyes in Katrina’s direction. “Or if there was a problem that needed the police, one only a friend could help with.”
Katrina sighed. “Sergeant Colton is investigating the break-ins at my house. He’s working here temporarily
until the perpetrators have been caught.”