Here she just wanted to be. Here she could at least pretend that the past six months hadn’t happened. This could very well have been her honeymoon. A romantic island getaway.
Ryan had certainly played the part of the solicitous husband.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
Slowly she dropped her gaze from the vivid splash of blue and turned her head to Ryan.
“I was thinking that it’s easy to pretend here.”
The blue in his eyes deepened until it ran darker than the water rolling onto shore.
“We could pretend,” he acknowledged. “But we don’t have to.”
“So did you get things straightened out at the building site?” she asked, not wanting to delve into pretend versus real. They were supposed to forget the past. At least for this week. That didn’t leave a whole lot to talk about.
“Just a misunderstanding. I should have it cleared up by tomorrow. I have a joint meeting in the morning with the local contractors and the man we hired to oversee the project. If all goes well, I’ll be finished and we’ll have a few days to do what we want.”
“When do you have to be back in New York?” she asked carefully. Because she knew the whole fantasy would come to a screeching halt once that happened.
“I don’t know yet. I’m not in a hurry,” he said as he studied her. “Right now I prefer to concentrate on the time we have here together.”
She nodded, her acceptance coming a little easier now that she’d had more time to grasp the idea.
“Will you sleep with me tonight, Kelly?”
Her eyes widened.
He cursed. “That came out completely wrong. I’d like for us to sleep together. Actually sleep. In the same bed. I’d like to hold you again. Nothing more. Just let me hold you.”
The idea of lying in his arms, of snuggling into his body and tangling her legs with his… It was so compelling that she suddenly wanted it more than her next breath.
Taking a deep breath, she nodded.
He reached over, took her hand and simply held it, their fingers wound tightly. He leaned back and positioned himself up on his elbow at an angle and then pulled her so she could rest against his chest.
They remained that way until hotel workers came out to light the torches along the beach as dusk deepened and the stars began to pop in the sky.
Soft music floated from down the beach where an outdoor lounge area was located. The notes with the waves made for incomparable music.
She leaned her head back in the crook of his neck and gazed dreamily up at the sky now that the umbrella had been folded down. He turned his face so that his lips brushed across her cheek in a kiss and then he too glanced skyward.
“Make a wish,” she murmured.
“I have my wish. Now make yours.”
She took a deep breath and held it for a long second. Then she closed her eyes and made her wish. Sadness crept in and took hold because she knew that some wishes couldn’t come true.
After a moment, Ryan stirred under her and then carefully pushed her upward so he could move from behind her. He got to his feet, dusted sand from his jeans and reached down for her hand.
Thinking he was ready to head back to their suite, she let him pull her up. But instead of walking toward the hotel, he took her closer to the water’s edge.
Moonlight splashed like silver across the surface of the water. The sky was filling rapidly with stars, scattered like fairy dust across the horizon.
How fanciful she was tonight. Wishes and fairy dust. It seemed appropriate for such a magical setting, though. Maybe she’d wake up in the morning and this would have all been a dream.
If that was the case, she was determined to exist in her dream world for as long as possible.
Without a word, Ryan took her in his arms and began to move to the distant strains of music. He gathered her close and she tucked her head beneath his chin, leaning into him as they swayed in time with the ocean and the soft melody lilting through the air.
Closer and closer they melted together until they were barely moving at all. She was tucked securely against his body, a perfect fit.
He laid his cheek atop her head and turned slowly, his feet guiding their rhythm.
Finally they stopped moving at all and stood locked together as night fell around them. He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed the top of her head.
She tilted back so that she looked into his eyes and she saw need and desire, but she also saw hope.
Her eyelids grew heavy as he slowly, ever so slowly, lowered his head until their mouths were so close but not yet touching. The moment stretched on, their breaths mingling, their gazes never breaking apart.
As the music drifted quietly away, he kissed her.
It was the most romantic, exquisite kiss she’d ever been given. It was a kiss that told her more than words ever could that this man cherished her. He wanted her. He would have her.
And when he finally pulled his mouth away, he tugged her into his arms and stood holding her tight as the moon bathed them in pale light.
Nine
Kelly pulled the nightgown over her head and warily glanced down her body. There was no doubt the garment was beautiful. A concoction of lace and satin that floated over her skin and molded to all the contours.
But she felt far too exposed. Her breasts looked too…big. Her belly looked enormous. Thank God she couldn’t see her feet.
She eyed her door, knowing she was supposed to go to Ryan’s room after she’d undressed for bed, but she couldn’t seem to make herself take those few steps.
It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Ryan. No, it was herself she didn’t trust. She’d already made a big enough fool of herself when it came to this man. Once back in his arms, snuggled up close to him, she’d probably lose what little common sense she had left.
She sighed and sank onto the edge of her bed. Her hesitation was just another sad indication of the rift in their relationship. She’d never been inhibited around Ryan before.
He’d often be propped up in bed with his laptop, his brow creased in concentration as he worked on who knew what. She’d crawl into bed with exactly nothing on and tease and taun
t him until his laptop and work were forgotten.
He used to laughingly say that he knew better than to bring work home because she never let him get away with it.
And now she couldn’t even bring herself to walk into his bedroom.
A knock sounded at her door and then it opened a crack. Ryan stuck his head in. He stopped when he saw her sitting on the bed.
“Everything okay?”
She nodded.
He eased the door all the way open and walked in. He stood in front of her for a moment and then sat down on the bed next to her. He didn’t say anything. He simply laid his hand on her lap, palm up, and waited for her to take it.
After a moment, she slid her hand over his. He twined his fingers through hers and squeezed gently. Then he stood and pulled her to her feet.
“We’re both tired,” he said. “Let’s turn in and we’ll worry about tomorrow when it gets here.”
That didn’t sound like the Ryan she knew. He was a man who planned everything to the nth degree. He had schedules, lists, planners, calendars. He not only worried about tomorrow, but the next year as well.
He led her into his bedroom and motioned for her to get into bed. He hung back, maybe out of deference to her obvious unease. Taking a deep breath, she crawled beneath the covers and turned so she’d face away from him when he got in.
The bed dipped behind her, and she felt his warmth as soon as he slid beneath the covers. He moved about for a few seconds and then the next thing she knew, he was flush against her back.
He wrapped one arm over her and pulled her in close. He nuzzled her hair before resting his cheek over her ear.
It was all she could do not to break down. It had been so long and it felt so right. Just like so many other nights in his arms. She’d missed him. Unbelievably, she’d missed him.
“No past,” he murmured in her ear. “Just us. Right now.”
She closed her eyes. It had been stupid to agree not to bring up the past. They might not talk about it but it loomed over them like a cloak of doom. It lay between them, awkward and unwieldy. There was no forgetting the past.
What they were doing was called denial. And it wasn’t particularly effective.
He kissed her neck and snuggled a little closer. He cupped his hand over her belly affectionately. But the moment was bittersweet. This was how it should have been between them all along.
“Relax and go to sleep, Kell. I just want to hold you.”
And oddly enough it was what she wanted too.
When Kelly opened her eyes, the first thing that registered was how comfortable she was. And warm. The second thing she realized was that she was on top of Ryan.
Not just on top of him, but sprawled across him as if she owned him. Her cheek was plastered to his shoulder and her forehead pressed against the side of his neck.
It was the way she’d woken every morning when they’d lived together.