I think of going after her, but to what fucking end? She seems hell bent on crushing what we had, and I can’t force her to fucking love me.
I take two steps toward the counter and uncap one of the whisky bottles my father keeps around. Reaching for a glass, I pour myself a hefty dose, downing it in one single gulp. Then I pour myself another, giving it the same fucking treatment. It doesn’t take long for the alcohol to rage through my veins, a soothing sensation taking over me.
What the fuck do I do now? I was a fucking idiot! What the fuck was I thinking? She’s right… Whatever we had between us, it was doomed right from the fucking start. She’s my stepmother, for fuck’s sake! Did I expect my fucking father to give us his blessing? Did I expect the whole world to fucking applaud as we broke all sorts of taboos? How could I be so fucking naive?
But then I remember the first time I saw her, every curve in her body calling to me, her beautiful face like a fucking mirage… Maybe it was wrong, but it was fucking bound to happen.
I leave the kitchen and head to my room, walking up the stairs as if I was in a fucking daze. There, I close the door and sit on the edge of the bed, my eyes wandering to the corner of the room: the suitcase I thought of taking with me to Europe is still there, staring back at me as if it were fucking mocking me.
Maybe she’s right… Maybe I should just fucking pack up, leave, and put everything that happened behind my back. London, Paris, Berlin—all cities brimming with beautiful women… I can go anywhere I fucking want.
But it’s not that fucking simple and, deep down, I know it. I can’t wipe my memory clean and go on about my life as if she had never crossed my life. Because she did. She fucking did...
And now that’s she gone, I’m fucking lost.
New York Daily Journal
From the Desk of Amanda Adams, the Professional Gossiper of Page Two.
Welcome to Page Two Gossip, here’s what we’re hearing around the halls of power:
Well if you ever wondered whether the stork that brings babies had any party affiliation, we now know he may very well be a Republican. That’s all because of the rather timely press release from the Mayor’s office today that he and his wife, Jocelyn Anders, are expecting a child.
That’s right, New York. Hizzoner is going to be a father.
The news of Jocelyn Anders being pregnant is expected now to burnish an already stellar view that the city has of him as a devoted family man. Who can resist a tiny baby wrapped up and looking cute?
It also comes with the added bonus of being impervious to any of the attacks that Mayor Anders’ rival, Jim Jenkins, has thrown at him in the past in terms of politicizing his family just to score points with the voters. You can bet that Michael Anders isn’t going to hesitate bringing out a pregnant Jocelyn to every ceremony and campaign stop
now.
But what about the other male Anders in the family? The hot, bad boy? My sources in the Anders campaign confirm he hasn't been seen in the last couple of days, but here’s a bit of juicy gossip for you. Deep cover sources tell me that there was some sort of blow-up between the now pregnant Jocelyn and Lance. Can the pregnancy of his stepmother be vexing for the Mayor’s prodigal son? Well, we don’t know for sure, but it sure looks like it. Is someone possibly getting jealous that they won’t be getting all the attention from his parents? Well, New York, I’ll tell you this; if Lance ever needs attention or thinks he’s being neglected, I’m sure there are a million women in this city who will be more than happy to show him a good time and take care of his every need.
With about a month left until the election, it certainly looks like the Mayor has his re-election in the bag. Since his announcement of his wife’s pregnancy, he’s launched a vast array of proposals designed to better support the working women of the city—a demographic that he’s struggled with in the past. Is it going to be enough to push him over the edge? Well, let’s just say this; if the Mayor plays his cards right, he may actually end up not just winning, but winning with such a landslide vote that he’ll go into the next term with the people of the city united behind him.
But before you start getting comfortable and thinking that it’s time to move on to the next thing competing for your attention, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn’t say that I think there’s still questions that need to be answered. Isn’t it just a little too convenient that this baby is on the way right before the election? And does Hizzoner have any secrets that could end up coming out at the eleventh hour that might take away from his baby bump? A lot can happen in a little under four weeks—and there’s still a lot of balls in the air, so don’t get too comfortable, Gotham. Till we know more, this is Amanda Adams signing off. Keep your ears open, New York.
Jocelyn
“This city was built on the values of family,” Michael says to an approving audience. “And it's gotten us through the tough times. We will only be great by continuing to cherish our values and holding ourselves to a higher standard!”
I look toward the clapping and cheering audience. They’re enthusiastically holding signs that read “Bring Back Our Values” and “Anders - Character Counts.”
If they only knew.
“I pledge that my second term in office will see the restoration of the old values that made this city the center of the world,” Michael declares. “And that people who flout those values don’t get a free pass while the rest of the city follows the rules and plays fairly.”
People nod and clap. Michael looks over in my direction. It’s just for a second and it’s a fleeting glance but I know he’s checking on me.
I bring my hands to clap and give a weak smile. It should be enough to let me continue to blend in the background.
Besides, I’m the pregnant wife, remember? I can be excused for having to leave. Or wanting to sit down.
Don’t think I haven’t thought about it.
Every. Single. Morning.
Just saying that I can’t make it due to the pregnancy. That I can’t stand next to this man and smile and clap while he tells the people of the city how much values are important to him.