Page List


Font:  

“Sounds good,” Coop says mildly as he lifts the toilet into the wheelbarrow with a grunt. “Bye, Lexi.”

“Bye,” she calls out, her voice fading as she pounds down the steps to the street.

“Weird,” I say as I come to stand beside him, gazing down into the hole beneath the toilet.

“Weird that everyone and their mother was trying to set us up—including Penny, I’m pretty sure—or weird that someone was hiding their lockbox under a toilet in their kitchen?”

“Both.” I grin and kiss his cheek, smile widening as he turns to me and claims a real kiss—a soft, sexy, slow one that makes me forget all about the lockbox until Coop whispers, “Should we crack that sucker open with the ax?”

I pull away from his mind-muddying lips and nod. “Yes, we should. Hopefully, it’s filled with gold coins I can sell to pay for the dumpster to be emptied by Tuesday and brought back in time for demo.”

It isn’t filled with gold coins. But it is filled with a dozen jewelry boxes, each one containing a piece I know will fetch one hell of a price at a Sotheby’s auction.

I shake my head, too shocked to believe the sight spread out on the scarred kitchen countertop is real. “These are… This is insane. They’re probably worth more than I paid for the house. Why on earth did the previous owner have them locked away under the toilet?”

“Well, it’s a safe place,” Coop says. “Not many people are going to unbolt a toilet and look underneath. Especially a toilet in the kitchen.”

“Maybe that’s why it was decorated?” I ask, still puzzled, but knowing I’m not going to get any answers. Mr. Snively is gone and all his reasons with him. But I still say a silent thank you. “Now I won’t have to get a second job to pay for the extra reno expenses.”

“Awesome,” Coop says, drawing me into his arms. “That really works out for me, too, since I was kind of hoping to take up some of your spare time.”

“Oh, yeah?” I thread my fingers together behind his neck with a smile.

“Okay, so maybe a lot of your spare time. As much as I can get.”

“That sounds perfect,” I say, pressing on my tiptoes to press my lips to his.

And it is.

So perfect that by the time Christmas rolls around again, Coop and I are engaged, Penny is planning my wedding shower, and Lexi’s written numerous songs about how gross it is to catch her mom making out.

But she doesn’t really mean it.

She loves me, and Coop, and me and Coop together. She’s our biggest fan, which she proves by staying over at her dad’s house on the night of the Hope for the Homeless ball so Coop and I can have the apartment to ourselves for our first anniversary.

“You think she’ll be mad when she finds out we didn’t leave the apartment?” Coop asks, closing the door behind her and pulling me against him.

I smile. “Nope. And we don’t have to tell her. We can pretend we danced the night away before coming home and eating ice cream in bed.”

“Oh, I intend to dance with you, beautiful,” he murmurs. “All night long.”

He puts on Christmas carols, and we sway to the music, putting off our favorite part until delaying gratification any longer just seems silly. And then we kiss our way down the hall to the bedroom and make more holiday memories that I’ll never forget.

Never ever.

Not a single, precious one.

* * *

The entire Big O Dating Specialists

series is Available Now.

* * *

Learn more here.

UP TO SNOW GOOD

A Hunter Brothers Holiday Novella

* * *

By Lili Valente

1

Lucy

It’s the most magical time of the year.

A time for love and forgiveness.

A time to live and let live and let bygones be bygones.

Unless you’re the man who’s been streaking naked through my Christmas tree farm in a Santa hat with your jingle bells dangling in the breeze, then all bets are off.

“I’m going to get him. Tonight,” I whisper, meeting my friend Emma’s gaze in the early morning light. Barn Roasters coffee is nearly deserted—as is most of our sleepy Sonoma County town three days after Christmas—but I’m not taking any chances. I don’t want anyone to overhear my brilliant plan and leak the details to Sicko Santa. “I’m going to stake him out from my deer blind. With a floodlight and my slingshot.”

“But it’s going to get down into the thirties again tonight,” Emma says, her blue eyes worried behind her glasses. “And I know things are different up here than in the city, but should you really be shooting at people? Even with a slingshot? Is that legal?”

“When the person in question has been trespassing on my property wearing nothing but a stocking on his penis? Then, yes, Emma. Yes, I should.” I bob a shoulder. “And I’m not going to hurt him. Just shake him up a little. Leave a couple of bruises he won’t be able to explain away.”


Tags: Lili Valente Erotic