“You like what you see?” I rolled my hips and ground against him a bit before taking up the pace again.
“Fuck, yes. You’re fucking gorgeous, baby. As he said the words, my head lolled back, and I felt another wave of pleasure rock through me.
I never wanted it to end.
CHAPTER ONE - KAMI
Where the hell is a damn drink when you need one?
I asked myself. My feet were throbbing with pain. There’s nothing quite like working a double shift, slinging coffee all day, and coming home to a rock band rehearsing in the garage below your apartment.
I wasn’t sure where I got the nerve to hope for peace and quiet, but I wasn’t going to get it. To put the cherry on top of my shit sundae, I was greeted by my ex, Devin. Unfortunately, kicking his ass to the curb didn’t mean I’d get to avoid frequent unwelcomed run-ins.
Devin played guitar for a local rock band led by none other than my best friend and lead singer, Rain Crawford. To make matters worse, said rock band’s headquarters happened to be in the garage beneath my apartment. I was the poster child for the acronym FML.
“Hey, Kam, how’s it going?” Devin’s cigarette smoke billowed out with each word, sending chills down my spine. I knew the only reason he’d bothered to speak was because his latest fling was hanging all over him.
It was hard to believe that I was once mesmerized by his rock star appeal. Looking back now, the signs were everywhere, and I was just too blind to see them.
Devin knew how much it hurt when I had to close my photography studio, and yet he made cruel jokes about my failure whenever he could.
Before our relationship, I’d had some success with photography and had gotten confident enough to rent a space to open my own studio. I didn’t know enough to take into account overhead, utilities, insurance, etc. I just wanted to take pictures. Six months in, my studio folded. Since I’d signed a lease for a year, I was stuck having to pay, even though I’d gone out of business.
One of his favorite things to do was to point out the boarded-up building every time we passed by. It was all part of his plan to make me think I was less than him, so that I couldn’t imagine finding someone better. And I let him. To make matters worse, I caught him cheating in my bed. I still couldn’t decide which one of us was the bigger fool.
The bleached blonde on his arm had tattoos and piercings and wore a concert tee and shredded jeans and lots of black leather, while the edgiest things on my body were the piercings on my ears. Don’t get me wrong, I still appreciated a good concert tee and a pair of faded jeans, but I looked more like an all-American girl next door compared to the tatted-up groupie that was Devin’s usual type.
Little did she know that he was on a mission to sleep with as many girls as possible after our break-up. Whether it was to make me jealous or prove something, it didn’t matter. As far as I was concerned he could screw every available hole in town, so long as he stayed away from me.
“How much longer will this be going on?” I asked as I walked by and fished out my keys, which reminded me to ask another question: “Did you ever find the spare key to my apartment?”
“We’re on our last break, and no.” He shrugged and planted a kiss on the girl’s lips, practically reaching for her tonsils with his tongue. “I don’t know what happened to it.”
I shook my head in disgust. I’d given him over a month to find that spare key, and while I wasn’t inclined to believe he’d actually lost it, I wasn’t going to argue with him about it. He probably knew exactly where it was and only said he didn’t so I’d stress about him coming in the apartment.
“Never mind, I’ll have the locks changed.” I found my keys, which were down deep in my slouchy bag and climbed the stairs to my apartment. Devin and his girl who were hanging out at the bottom of my stairs, just next to my garbage can. It seemed fitting; the trash knew right where it belonged.
I laughed quietly at my witty joke. I opened my door and glanced around to see if my place looked any different than when I’d left it, but everything was in place. I couldn’t be too careful. My relationship with Devin could be compared to peeling the skin of an onion. The man I thought I knew pranced around with false layers. Sure, everyone puts their best foot forward initially, but he was at a whole new level. I realized he was an egotistical slime ball with zero compassion for others, not to mention a man whore. It went without saying, I was better off without him.
Unfortunately, he’d been the last in a long line of shitty choices. I really had a knack for attracting the exact wrong type of guy. The shittiest part was that I wasn’t getting any you
nger, and I wanted a family more than just about anything.
Thank the lord I hadn’t gotten knocked up by that prick.
At one point I was seriously considering it. It had been a half-baked idea, but I’d always known I wanted children. I worked up the nerve to speak to Devin about it a few times and, of course, he never really seemed that interested.
Since the breakup, I’ve been feeling the urge more than ever. The reality was that I had my fair share of failed relationships and I could no longer wait for the right guy.
I always admired my mother who raised me alone. I figured she’d done it on her own, why couldn’t I? I’ve always adored children. Maybe it had something to do with me being an only child growing up and having memories of begging my mother to have more babies. Who knows.
When Devin and I split, I’d feared it would cause a rift between Rain and I, but she assured me our friendship meant more to her than that. She couldn’t afford losing Devin, but she wasn’t going to let me go as a friend. Damn right.
She couldn’t get in the middle of it since she said he was not only the hottest guitarist in town, but one of the best. He had connections that helped them land gigs, and Rain leaned on him for everything.
I threw my bag down and kicked my shoes off, as I made my way to the fridge. I checked my schedule for work, which hung on the door, and wrote “double” with the magnetic pen I kept beside it. I had quite a few of those markings, and while I was exhausted from the extra work, my pockets were lined with cash tips. If I was ever going to climb down off the mountain of debt from the failed business, I needed a nice cushion to land on.
I opened the box and took out a cold drink and then grabbed a TV dinner from the freezer. Following the directions, I poked holes in the plastic and tossed it in the microwave.